With John 21:15-19, as with other passages of Scripture, context is vital.

In this passage of Scripture, we have the Lord Jesus, risen after His crucifixion, speaking personally to the leader of His apostles. We have more stories about the interactions between Jesus and Peter than we have for any other apostle – indicating that Jesus took special care in the discipling and training of Peter.

Peter has had three years of close personal contact with Jesus: and as part of the trio with James and John, has had more revelation about who Jesus is than anyone else. With their own eyes they saw the transfiguration of Jesus, as well as the agony of Jesus after the Last Supper.

On the doorposts in Israel back then, and even today, there are bits of scroll inside black casing to remind the sons of Israel: "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is the one Lord, and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength....."

The kind of love expected of Israel is nothing less than agape love.

If God commands something, then it means it is possible to accomplish it.

With the resurrection of Jesus, there is absolutely no longer any doubt about His divinity.

So when Jesus says to Peter, ‘Do you love (agape) Me?’
the reasonable expectation is that Peter should return a, ‘Yes I love (apage) You Lord’.

Jesus became incarnate, lived among us, revealing the face and nature of God to us, and especially to the Apostles, to prove the utter depths of God’s love for us, and this special Apostle says, ‘Yes, I love (phileo) You, as a friend, a companion, a brother’.

That had to have been gut wrenching for Jesus.
His whole purpose in becoming incarnate, suffering and dying for us, was to bring us into an agape love relationship with Himself, and if He has failed with Peter, then what chance do the disciples and the crowds have?

Jesus asks the same question another time,
giving Peter the opportunity to upgrade his answer
but it doesn't happen.

In some ways this is worse than Peter denying Jesus at the high priest's place.
This is face to face with the crucified and risen Jesus.

When Jesus asks again, this time He reduces the response He is looking for.
‘Peter, do you love (phileo) Me?’
That Jesus would be prepared to ask less of Peter, must have been gut wrenching for Peter.
In effect, "If you don't love Me, do you still like Me?"

Peter is aware that he has failed Jesus. He is aware that he has failed Jesus' expectations of him, perhaps even damaged their relationship. But Peter is still unable to upgrade his answer from phileo love to agape love.

Yet despite all this, Jesus reveals His mercy.
Jesus gives Peter a prophecy indicating that agape love for Jesus is still possible for Peter.

With the 'follow Me' of Jesus, Peter can start again.
They are the same words Jesus spoke to Peter when he left his boat and nets.

What will make the difference
​is the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.
Romans 5:5 says that the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.
It is only the Holy Spirit that makes agape love for God possible.
And if we are not there yet,
then we need more of the Holy Spirit in our hearts.
………………………………….
Dear God, we acknowledge how small our love for You is.
We are so sorry for failing to love You as You have loved us,
and for failing to love you to the extent that You have lovingly commanded us.
Please pour Your Holy Spirit into our hearts afresh.
Fill us with agape love for You, and for each other. Amen.

The Gospel for Easter Monday is always Matthew 28:8-15 which includes an encounter with women and the risen Jesus, as well as letting us know what happened to the guards at His tomb.

What Jesus says to the women who had found His tomb empty of His body, but filled with the presence of an angel, is this: ‘Greetings. Do not be afraid; go and tell My brothers that they must leave for Galilee; they will see Me there’.

The homilist on Monday, a venerable retired priest, made a simple yet profound comment on this Gospel passage. Since so many of the apostles and disciples came from Galilee, Galilee represents ordinary life. Therefore, that means it is in our day to day lives that we are to expect to encounter the risen Lord Jesus.

That’s possibly the opposite of where we expect to encounter Jesus. On retreat, at a church conference, while on holiday or pilgrimage, or on a mountain top, isn’t that where we expect Him to show up?
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Lord Jesus, please help us to recognise You, and respond positively to You, when You show up in our daily lives. Please take away our fears of encountering You. Amen.

This Gospel text from St Luke Chapter 14, verse 1, then verses 7 to 14 is used on the 22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C. Frequently when it comes up in the liturgical cycle preachers speak about humility. But it isn’t primarily about humility at all, it is however about relationship to Jesus.

In context, the previous passage from St Luke for 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C, was describing those who are the friends of God, and reminding us of the trials and tribulations they went through to get their seat at the banquet of heaven.

Luke Chapter 14 opens with Jesus accepting a dinner invitation at the home of an influential Pharisee. However, the missing verses 2 to 6 tell us that this dinner was far from a meeting of hearts and minds assisted by good food and drink. It begins with a man with dropsy being presented to Jesus, and since this dinner fell on a Sabbath, controversy was expected. Hence it feels like a well thought out trap, and that Jesus is more their entertainer than their guest.

Jesus, of course, heals the man. But before and after the healing He asks the assembled group of scribes and Pharisees a different question as an entry way for discussion about the Law and the Sabbath, and about normal emergency situations where the Sabbath Law gets bent (e.g. a son falls into a well).

Jesus gets met with stony silence. None of them wish to engage with Him on this issue, and Jesus must have been deeply disappointed because it should have been quite a fascinating discussion with so many learned minds in the same place. He would have been grieved too, because these men more than most knew that a rabbinical question was the starting place for learning, and this refusal indicates that there was nothing they wanted to learn from Jesus, and that their hearts were quite closed to Him.

Not deterred, as a good guest Jesus gives them something else as a discussion starter, in the form of a parable. Now a parable is a bit like a riddle, except that it uses everyday situations and includes an unexpected twist, and from that twist people could begin to fathom the purpose and meaning of the parable. The thing is, we often think of this part of scripture as pure teaching, and not a parable at all.

Perhaps, you, like me, have always envisioned a long straight banqueting table with at least 20 chairs or more, when this Gospel gets read out. But the Greek is very clear that at this dinner they were all reclining in the ancient manner. If so, please do yourself a favour, and go and read this blog post about the dining customs of Ancient Rome, and in particular how the couches were arranged in a Triclinium, and where the hosts reclined, where the higher valued guests reclined, and where the lower valued guests reclined.

The best positions had both proximity to the host, and the best uninterrupted views. The worst positions had less proximity to the host, and the worst views, and needed head swiveling when anything important took place eg. new food arriving, new guests arriving, entertainers arriving and performing.

http://blogs.getty.edu/iris/reclining-and-dining-and-drinking-in-ancient-rome/

The Romans based their practices on the Greeks, and the Greeks based their practices on the more ancient cultures of Egypt, Persia and Israel. Due to the Hellenistic era in Israel (see Maccabees), and due to the Roman occupation at the time of Jesus, everyone was familiar with this dining arrangement – and it is highly likely that the dinner Jesus went to was arranged upon similar lines.

In this parable Jesus sets two scenarios before His dining companions.

In the first scenario, a more distinguished guest arrives.
In the second scenario, Jesus suggests that the best place to aim for is the lowest place.

Most of you have had a share in arranging wedding receptions or other sit-down dinner events. Quite a lot of time is taken in working out the best seating arrangements for the guests to try and maximize everyone’s enjoyment of the occasion. Anyone at enmity with each other you wanted seated far apart from each other. Often you even work out place cards, or at least make sure all the family knows where you want each guest to sit.

The only time this apple cart gets overturned is when an uninvited guest shows up, or when someone who didn’t think he could make it suddenly finds that he can.

With the Jewish emphasis on hospitality, and the necessity of finding lodgings on a journey of several days, having an uninvited guest, or a guest added at the last minute, was far from uncommon.

In fact, this parable could easily be called the parable of the uninvited guest, or the parable of the extra guest.

The context in which Jesus placed this parable was the jockeying for the best reclining positions that went on as they entered the dining area, and this jockeying had probably even begun as each one arrived and had a guess at where he fitted on the pecking order of influence.

For them this dinner was more about enhancing or maintaining their power and influence than anything else. At such dinners among influential scribes and Pharisees lots of insider deals were done, or sensitive information shared.

Can you get the image of a group of men playing a game of one-up-man-ship among themselves to decide who is the most important person to take the best dining position near the host? Can you see that such a masculine gaggle completely ignores whatever the host may want? Can you perceive the underlying assumption that the host plays these games too, and that for them this group of men such behaviour is quite normal?

Now look back at the parable of Jesus, in the first part the host says, ‘Give up your place to this man’. It’s rather brusque, isn’t it? And it is more likely said to an acquaintance or to an unknown, than to a friend.

In the second part of the parable of Jesus, the host says, ‘My friend, move up higher’.

Therefore, it is friendship with the host that determines your table place far more than any power and influence you may wield.

To some extent, the advice of Jesus is practical, since if you are an uninvited guest or a latecomer, then it is pragmatic to take the lowest place, and not earn everyone else’s wrath for dislodging them from where they were. Far better for the host to initiate that rearrangement. The advice of Jesus also contains a revelation; because if you take His advice, you will learn whether how close you think your relationship with the host is matches how close the host thinks your relationship is – especially if your host leaves you in that lowest place.

When we think of the heavenly banquet to come, and Who the divine host will be, perhaps we will now put a lot more effort into our relationship with God, and a lot less effort in comparing ourselves to others.

Jesus also leaves us clues about how to improve our relationship with God.

Remember that He said, ‘Which of you, if his son falls into a well, or his ox, will not pull him out on a Sabbath day without any hesitation?’

What did Jesus do? He healed the man with dropsy without hesitation. This man, despised by the dinner group, was considered as important as a son or an ox to Jesus.

Let that sink in.

Consider that the vast number of recipients of the miracles of Jesus were poor, or crippled, or lame, or blind…. Consider how many miracles were worked for scribes and Pharisees.

Who was the one excluded from the dinner? The man healed of dropsy.

Who would Jesus have included, if He were the host for this dinner beyond all the others? The man healed of dropsy.

What else did Jesus tell us? ‘When you have a party, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind’.

He is inviting us to get to know the people who are special to Him, and the ones He highly values. Doing good towards whom Jesus accounts as His friends is the path of wisdom. Even on earth, if you help a friend that I care about, my heart is going to be extra kindly disposed towards you, yes?

Is any of this about humility?
Is all of this about friendship with Jesus?
​
May the Lord Jesus grant us the grace to act upon this. Amen.

The Gospel for this Sunday, the 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C comes from the Gospel of St Luke, Chapter 13, and has Jesus advising those listening to Him to struggle to enter by the narrow door into the kingdom of heaven.

This reflection has been written homily-style.

Luke 13:22-30
Lord, will only a few be saved?
That’s a good question, isn’t it?
And one we all want, and need, an answer to.
Even Jesus thought it was a good question,
because He answered it with a message that we struggle to decode,
so we may as well call it a parable.
In essence the answer Jesus gave was,
‘It’s up to you, how much do you want to enter the kingdom of heaven?’
Perhaps this seems strange to us,
because we are so accustomed to thinking,
‘Doesn’t everyone get to heaven?’
Let’s look at the criteria for getting in,
and the examples Jesus gave of those who were already in.

The first criteria is that it will take some considerable effort on our part.
The second criteria is that it will be through a narrow door, which indicates that it has to be traversed on foot since it isn’t wide enough for a horse or a car, and it will fit only one person at a time.
The third criteria is that we have to be recognisably kin to the master of the house, God the Father.
We need to look, dress, sound, and act, like members of the kingdom of heaven.
I’m sure you have had the experience of saying about someone, ‘they’ve got a strange accent,
there’s something European in it,
and yet there’s something North American in it as well.
I wonder where on earth they come from?’
We can’t have an accent tinged by the world; or be ‘half of the kingdom’ and ‘half of the world’.
Getting rid of the vestiges of the world from our lives is going to take effort, isn’t it?

Jesus gives us a few more tips.
The first tip is that we don’t know when God the Father is going to decide to bolt the door,
so we shouldn’t delay any of our efforts.
The second tip is that staying at the acquaintance level of relationship with Jesus is not enough.
It is very easy to eat and drink a meal with someone,
and yet not become committed to them.
It is very easy to listen to good teaching,
and yet not commit to putting it in to practice.
Where can we easily eat and drink with Jesus,
and listen to His teaching?
We are doing that right now, here at Mass.
But are we taking these opportunities of being with Jesus,
and letting these encounters with Jesus change us?

So, who has already arrived?
Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and all the prophets.
Did any of these people have easy lives? No, far from it.
Did God put them all through a testing process before adjudging them His friends? Yes, He did.
Some had heart-wrenching decisions, some had long years waiting for God’s promises to be fulfilled, many were scorned and laughed at, many were persecuted, many had great sorrows.
All of them prayed, remained faithful through trials, and were obedient to all God’s requests.
None of them were perfect, far from it;
but whenever they fell, they got up and began again.

There it is, what Jesus Himself says is necessary to be saved.
How much do you want to enter the kingdom of heaven?
Are you ready and willing to begin the struggle, with the help of the Holy Spirit?
May God in His mercy help us all.

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​In the readings for the 13th Sunday of Ordinary Time Year C we see both Elijah and Jesus seemingly brusque and impatient with Elisha and with three men invited to become full time disciples. This is confronting behaviour which feels quite unreasonable.

Why is it so?

There are two reasons. The first is that the context of these encounters is rarely explained to us. The second is that none of us like admitting that God has an absolute right to do with us what He wills, because He is our creator and redeemer.

So what’s the context with Elisha?

Prior to this encounter with Elijah, the prophets of Baal have been slaughtered and Queen Jezebel being hopping mad wants Elijah dead a.s.a.p. Elijah having nothing left in the tank tells God that he wants to die. Then the angel of the Lord wakes Elijah up and gives him the nourishment necessary to travel to Horeb, the mountain of God. Here God reveals that Elijah is not alone, others have not bent to Jezebel’s ways, and that God has three strategic tasks for him to do: to anoint two new kings, and to anoint Elisha to continue Elijah’s prophetic ministry.

There are then at least three reasons for urgency:
Jezebel’s henchmen are on the lookout to kill Elijah.
Elijah needs to find and anoint the two new kings before the henchmen catch up to him.
Elijah doesn’t know how much time he has left, and he needs to pass on to Elisha as much training and instruction as possible before that finale comes.

So what’s the context with Jesus?

This is the Gospel of Luke, where Jesus has a lot of time in ministry around Galilee until the time of the Transfiguration, and then Jesus sets out on the one-way journey to Jerusalem to die on the Cross for our salvation. Jesus is not going to pass by these towns again, this is their last chance to see Jesus, and to experience His ministry. The time left is counted in weeks.

On the way Jesus has encounters with 3 men.

The first is attracted to follow Jesus, and Jesus disabuses him of any romantic notions the man has by describing one of the harsh realities.

The second one has definitely been called by Jesus as a full-time disciples, but he wants to fulfil his family duty first, and Jesus doesn’t mince words saying the call on his life to preach the Gospel far outweighs any family obligation.

The third one is also attracted to following Jesus, but wants to say goodbye to his parents first, and Jesus quotes Elijah’s words to Elisha to him. Once you say Yes, it has to be a complete and unconditional Yes.

When you look at the short amount of time of public ministry left to Jesus before Calvary, the need for urgency becomes clear. This is a one-time opportunity which will never be possible again: to walk, and talk, and live with Jesus and the disciples in the last days of public ministry. That time with Jesus on the road to Jerusalem is what will distinguish a valid witness to Jesus from anything less; and the kingdom of God being built needs as many valid witnesses as possible. There’s no time to go and do something else and catch up later.

The call to be disciple to Elijah and the call to be witness-disciple to Jesus are extraordinary privileges beyond fathoming when looked at from our vantage point in salvation history.

The call is worth the cost.
Like the parable Jesus taught us, it is the immense treasure to be had for the price of the field it is buried in.

Now we need to come to terms with why both Elijah and Jesus were so insistent on an immediate and unconditional Yes.

For this we will need an analogy or two.
A very rich and influential king is visiting a far-flung region of his kingdom and comes across a person working in the fields. For reasons of his own, the king invites the worker to come and live at the palace and to become a courtier, dining every day at the king’s table. Would such a worker dare to hum and haw about the offer? Would such a worker dare to delay in giving an affirmative answer? Would such a worker dare to delay entering the king’s service? No and no and no. Any delay and any refusal would be an affront to the king. Even if the worker has only a tiny idea of how immense this invitation is, the king is fully aware of it. Chances are the expectation would be for the worker to join the king’s retinue there and then. Anything in the worker’s life would be set at naught and thought irrelevant compared to the king’s invitation.

Replace the king with God, and Elisha and the three men with the worker, and we begin to understand.

Those of you who watched the West Wing series on TV or DVD would remember how staffers in the White House when given a presidential request would reply, “I serve at the pleasure of the president of the United States”. That is the kind of immediate readiness needed to respond to whatever the King of Kings asks of us. That’s the kind of response the holy angels always give to God Almighty, and which we are called to emulate.

Also consider a high-ranking army officer planning a surprise attack on the enemy. Every part of that strategy would be on a need-to-know basis. Each part of the attack would need precision timing. At least one part of the strategy would need a reliable and trustworthy officer to obey a seemingly weird command immediately and without question. It would be necessary for that officer to not comprehend the bigger picture, and to have no prior knowledge of the command before it arrives. Those kinds of officers tend to be a rare breed. Only a few officers would have sufficient trust in the high-ranking army officer to do that seemingly weird thing immediately and without question. Success or failure of the attack would be dependent on that officer’s prompt obedience.

Replace the high-ranking army officer with God, and the officer with any one of us, and we begin to comprehend the amount of confidence God places in us when He asks us to drop everything to immediately comply with His command. That changes everything, doesn’t it? We will then comply with great willingness.

It certainly goes against the grain of our habitual independence to realise that God has the perfect right at any time to require a big and unconditional Yes from us with next to no prior notice or preparation. But it is the truth.

Thankfully it is far more normal for an awareness of a calling from God to unfold over an expanse of time. But we do need to be reminded that some of God’s perfect plans require that we drop absolutely everything and immediately do what He asks – and that whenever that happens our immediate response is of the utmost importance to the bigger picture that only God can see in fullness.
​
Let’s pray
O God, my creator and redeemer, all wise and all kindness, I acknowledge You to be the Lord of everything and the Lord of me. The thought of dropping everything and going on a completely different path scares me silly. But I will trust in You, because You have been so faithful, so generous and so provident towards all of us. I understand that should You ever ask this of me, that the stakes must be very high. I want to express my willingness in advance, because if and when that moment arrives I might not be capable of rational thought. I also want to express my confidence in Your ability to look after anything and anyone I leave behind so much better than I ever could, and my awareness that it is impossible for You to do otherwise. Help me to never delay my Yes to You. Amen.

Yes, this isn’t a Sunday Gospel. It is actually the first part of Friday’s Gospel (29th Week Ordinary Time Year I), and I was given it to reflect and ponder upon – an unusual penance indeed.

But God’s ways are brilliant.

Luke 12:54-59 is where Jesus is among the crowds and He says to them that they can predict rain if clouds loom in the west, and they can predict hot weather if the wind is from the south. We can all understand this bit.

But then Jesus goes on to say, ‘How is it you do not know how to interpret these times?’

I’m sure this has had you stumped too.

What do we know?
That Jesus was referring to Himself, His miracles, His teaching as being a sign.
That Jesus considered that literally everybody should have been able to decode this sign and what it predicts.

Was Jesus right? Actually, Yes.

It has to be simple, it has to have been an observable repeatable pattern, and it has to be rather obvious – and it is fruitful for predicting the outcome of future signs.

(It might help to reveal that over the past many weeks we’ve been reading 1st Samuel, 2nd Samuel, 1st Kings and we are almost through 2nd Kings.)

Is there a pattern? Yes, there is, and it isn’t confined to these parts of scripture either.

Look at why God raised up leaders, and why God raised up prophets.

God raised up Joseph. God’s purpose was to preserve the lives of Abraham’s family.
God raised up Moses. God’s purpose was to rescue His people from slavery in Egypt.
God raised up Joshua. God’s purpose was to defeat the peoples who inhabited the promised land.

These are the primary purposes for which they were raised up, other purposes came to light after the big bad’s of famine, slavery and occupiers of the promised land were dealt with.

God raised up Gideon. God’s purpose was to save Israel from the Midianites.
God raised up Deborah. God’s purpose was to save Israel from Sisera and his army.
God raised up Jephthah the Gileadite. God’s purpose was to save Israel from the Ammonites.
God raised up Samson. God’s purpose was to save Israel from the Philistines.

Are you beginning to see the pattern?

God raises up the boy Daniel to save Susannah and bring judgement to the two corrupt elders.
God raises up the boy Samuel to bring judgement to the two corrupt priestly sons of Eli.
God raises up the boy David to save Israel from the Philistines.
God had raised up Saul to do this too, but Saul only partially fulfilled the mission given to him.

Let’s look at some other prophets.

God raised up Ahijah to bring judgement on Jeroboam.
God raised up Elijah to bring judgement to Ahaz.
God raised up Elisha to bring judgement to Jezebel.
God raises up Nathan to bring judgement to David, and call David to repentance.

God raises up Esther and Mordecai to bring judgement on Haman.
God raises up the prophet Daniel to bring judgement on Belshazzar.

Jesus is quite right.

When John the Baptist arose everyone should have been asking ‘What is God about to deal with?’

When Jesus, so much greater than all the others arose, everyone should have been asking ‘What super heavy duty stuff is God about to deal with?’

The answer, of course, is sin and death and the evil one.
The greatest enemies of all creation.

God’s modus operandi did not stop with Jesus.

Whenever we see a great prophet or an especially anointed leader arise, we know that God is about to deal with something big.

In modern times you could say that God raised up St John Paul II to bring down the iron curtain.
You could also say that God raised up St Teresa of Calcutta to deal with poverty.

You could also say that He raised up St Francis of Assisi to ‘Go rebuild My Church’, and Constantine and his mother Helena to end the early cycles of persecution.

Sometimes he uses unlikely suspects to bring about relief to His people, and Jehu son of Nimshi known for driving his chariot like a mad-man was one of these; Cyrus king of Persia is another.

What does this mean for us?

It means that if we see God raising up a great prophet or an especially anointed leader, that God is about to do something big. It also means we should put whatever support we can muster behind these chosen instruments of God.

And in our own day, Donald John Trump seems to be the one God has raised up to deal with the evils of the deep state.

Now you know what to look for.
Now you know what to do when you see these anointed ones emerge.
​
And when you do, go help them,
and also pray assiduously that they fulfill the whole mission God has given them.

​The Gospel for this Sunday, the 28th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B, is taken from St Mark Chapter 10 and tells us what happened when Jesus was interrupted with a man’s nagging question.

Jesus had just been to the man’s locality and had presumably done His normal preaching, teaching, and healing in the public gathering areas of that locality. Whatever Jesus said has caused a stirring within the man.

We might ask, why didn’t he ask this question earlier?

It is a real interruption to the schedule Jesus had, and we aren’t told what the consequences of setting out then and there actually were, eg not getting to the next place before night fall; having to stay an extra day where they were, missing a meal or celebration, maybe spending the night on the ground instead of under a roof. But Jesus doesn’t complain, He patiently listens to the man, and gives him His full attention.

Unlike the question the Pharisees put last week, this question is real and authentic, and we’ve all heard someone ask a version of it.

He asks, ‘What must I do to inherit eternal life?’

In other words, What’s the minimum I have to do to get a dead-cert entry pass for heaven?
Or, ‘If there a one-stop, fix, set-and-forget way to obtain eternal life?’

This man is thinking in terms of a transaction, like buying a plane ticket or a car.

But this question must have been niggling at him for a while.

I can imagine an internal battle going on inside him:
Do I really want this question answered?
How much do I want this question answered?
What if I don’t like the answer?
This Jesus person is the only person I’ve come across who could really answer this question.
So are you going to approach Him or not?
Does my desire for the answer outweigh the possible public notoriety for asking it?

He’s possibly been wrestling with himself for days, ever since Jesus showed up; and it is only the thought of missing out on ever getting the answer - because Jesus is leaving and unlikely to ever return - that eventually pushes him into action but at the last possible moment.

Jesus now seeks a bit more background before He answers. It isn’t quite like answering a question with a question as He did with the Pharisees, but it is similar.

From the 10 commandments, Jesus selects only those that are about our relationships with each other, and not in our memorized order either, No 6 You shall not kill; No 7 You shall not commit adultery; No 8 You shall not steal; No 9 You shall not give false witness, an interesting spin on No 10 You shall not defraud; and No.5 Honour your father and your mother.

The man replies, ‘Teacher, I have kept all these since my earliest days’; in other words: ‘I know these are not enough, otherwise I would not have come to You, I sense much more is required, but I don’t know what that ‘much more’ is, and I do want to know’. To be capable of desiring the ‘much more’, the man would have to be feeling restlessness and dissatisfaction with his current life.

Aha! It is God Himself who has been stirring within this man if he is able to verbalize this truth.

Jesus gazed at him with ‘agape’ love and gave him the momentous answer; ‘Go and sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you will have wealth in heaven; then, come, follow Me’.

‘Come follow me’ is what Jesus said when He invited each of the apostles into special relationship with Him.

Later on, when the man has left, Jesus speaks to His own, and He gazes at them with the same ‘agape’ love.

Answering like this, Jesus tells the man (and us), that heaven isn’t an object to be purchased, but a relationship with Him that requires 100% ongoing commitment.

For this man, used to purchasing all he desires through material wealth, the price of eternal life is far too high. Purchasing objects needs zero emotional involvement; entering an apostolic relationship with Jesus needs total emotional commitment, and total commitment from every other area of his life.

High calling, high reward, requiring high personal cost.

Who can make and keep such an audacious commitment to the person of Jesus?
Only those called and empowered to do so by God.

This is what sets the vocational call to consecrated, religious, or priestly life beyond the regular baptismal call to holiness.

As Jesus promises, it is this 100% giving of themselves to Him, the leaving everything and following Him, which gets rewarded a hundred-fold in this life, and in eternal life.

Notice that Jesus leaves the man completely free to decide, He neither badgers, coerces nor entices. He just offers an invitation.

We know that the man walked away sad. He was offered the Great Treasure, an apostolic calling, yet he rejected it.

It is reasonable to assume that Jesus was saddened as well. Who knows? If this chap had said ‘Yes’ maybe today he would be a household name of the same magnitude as Peter or Paul, instead of a nameless cautionary tale.

Where does that leave us?

Firstly it leaves us praying for those whom Jesus is calling into an apostolic commitment to Him, that they may be given the heavenly help to say their total Yes to Jesus.

Secondly it makes us take a good hard look at our own commitment to Jesus, and the things that we are, and aren’t, willing to give up for His sake.
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Finally if you have been experiencing that same restlessness, dissatisfaction, and sense that there must be ‘much more’, and that you want ‘much more’, then put the terms ‘Vocation Director’ and the name of your nearest regional or capital city into an internet search, and give that person a call.

The Gospel for this Sunday, the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B, is taken from the beginning of St Mark Chapter 10. In it a group of Pharisees set a trap for Jesus on the controversial issue of divorce.

The trap was set as this question for Jesus, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’

We have to assume, since this is a trap, that there was some controversy about this question.
If Jesus says Yes, they will refer to the 10 Commandments re adultery.
If Jesus says No, they will refer to Moses and Deut 24:1-4, and He will also have to endure the displeasure of the crowd – human nature being the same then as now, having a ‘get out of marriage’ option would have been popular.

Jesus responds, in true rabbinic fashion, with a question.
‘What did Moses command you?’

For Jesus this question is a stepping-stone to discussing deeper truths, but their answer will also tell Jesus how well this group of Pharisees understands the law of Moses; or more precisely the law of God as given through Moses.

Their answer was, ‘Moses allowed us to draw up a writ of dismissal in cases of divorce’.

While this is true, it isn’t the full truth.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4
If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds some indecency in her, he may write her a certificate of divorce, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. If, after leaving his house, she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the second man hates her, writes her a certificate of divorce, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house, or if he dies, the husband who divorced her first may not marry her again after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination to the Lord. You must not bring sin upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.

This passage from Deuteronomy is more about deterrents to divorce than permission for divorce.

The first deterrent is the writ of dismissal itself. Only the very educated could write this kind of legal document, so a scribe would have been involved, and he’d have to be paid for his services. The scribe also would hopefully ask, ‘do you really want to do this?’ and point out the pros and cons.

The second deterrent is that once he has dismissed his wife he can never, ever take her back again. Therefore he has to be very, very sure that he will never change his mind on this. It is also a deterrent to dismissal on trivial pretexts. It is highly likely that any sent-away-wife will become defiled.

This law is also a protection for wives, preventing any ‘yo-yo’ scenario where two or more men swap wives on a regular basis.

Then there is the stern warning that God cannot abide defiled relationships. That the very land on which they live will be adversely affected by such sins.

Extremely serious stuff, that deserves far more pondering than is possible here.

Although we know from history that places and civilisations with strong family values prospered, and that places and civilisations where strong family values eroded and were lost entered a downward spiral ending those places and those civilisations.
Which is yet another major deterrent.

Divorce was a matter of life and death, particularly for the wife.

Without a husband, a woman had no home, no security, no income, and became extremely vulnerable. Poverty, being reduced to begging, prostitution, and all the other evils which can befall the vulnerable, were the lot of a dismissed wife, as well as the ruin of her reputation because ‘she was a horrible wife’ is going to be believed more than ‘he was an unreasonable husband’.

To be clear, a writ of dismissal was a message from husband to wife that meant, ‘I don’t care anymore if you live or die, in fact I hope you die’.

How do you get to such hard-heartedness?

By degrees; a harsh word here, a derogatory comment there, which leads to treating her as less than a person worthy of respect and honour, and little cut by little cut, love gradually dies, concern for the welfare of the other, dies, and generally we are oblivious to it happening until the loss of love is so stark that it cannot be ignored.

But no matter how bad it has got, God can resurrect it.
Resurrecting marriages is one of His specialties, and something He takes great delight in doing.

You may object, but what about arranged marriages?
True, some arranged marriages would have been arranged better than others, but they were still entering into an intimate partnership. If you are a man with a farm or a business, what’s the easiest way to get ahead in life? A large family, since children are unpaid labour, and the easiest way to obtain children is to found a family with a wife. The wife also takes care of all those details that make a husband’s life easier; meals, managing household servants, interior decorating, shopping, clothing, the needs of children etc.

It would still take a hard-hearted brute to be lacking in appreciation for such services.

How do you stop going down that ‘growing less in love’ spiral? Forgiveness.
Regular forgiveness, forgiveness from the heart, for the little hurts received, real or imagined.

All of us have foibles and little habits that rub each other up the wrong way.
None of us are exempt.
Without regular forgiveness and looking for the good in each other, our hearts gradually grow coarse and hard, our ability to love grows cold.

Jesus tells them, and us, that from the beginning, God’s plan was that the male and the female become one flesh; and a more accurate translation would be, to exist as one flesh. This is a reality in truth and in God’s eyes, even if we find it difficult to perceive.

Jesus also says, ‘What God has united, man must not divide’.
The word used for ‘united’ is ‘synezeuxen’, which means to yoke together.

When you put a yoke on two farm animals to do a task eg plowing, the best result is achieved when the two farm animals are evenly matched. That means that marriage is a team of two, put together specifically by God, for a common purpose, a common mission, with a common vision. Two yoked animals must needs look in the same direction at the same time.

Wow, what a vision for marriage as God sees it!

Divorce destroys that team of two brought together by God as a team with a single existence, and also destroys the God given purpose and mission for that team.

Divorce also disfigures the man and the woman. You cannot destroy a union like this without some destruction of both the man and the woman. It produces gaping wounds where seamless unity used to be.

In God’s eyes, divorce is a horrible evil that He never ever wants any of His creation to experience.

Yes, sometimes separation is necessary for a short or longer time, with a view to reunion.

Unless violence of the grievous bodily harm variety is present, in which case the separation could be life-long, but still holding out the hope of God’s grace of conversion upon the one prone to violence.

No wonder the enemy of our souls wants to destroy and disfigure marriage as much as possible.

Jesus then goes on to tell the Pharisees, and us, that divorce followed by marriage to another, no matter whether you are male or female, is adultery.

Thou shalt not commit adultery is one of the 10 Commandments.

Any infringement of the 10 Commandments calls down the curses of Deuteronomy 28 upon a person.

God is very serious about His plan for marriage.
That’s because it is the vehicle through which He can bless us, and our society, abundantly.

Like divorce, adultery conveys the same message to the repudiated spouse, ‘I wish you were dead, and I’m going to act as if you were dead, and as if I was free to marry again’.

That’s bad enough, but as we’ve just seen, adultery is also saying a very big No to God’s plan for that married couple and a very big No to God’s mission for that couple.

It isn’t ‘just having a fling’; it is a very serious rejection of the spouse, of God, and of God’s plan for the couple’s greatest happiness and greatest fruitfulness.

Just like the other time the Pharisees confronted Jesus, (Mark 7, 22nd Sunday Ordinary Time Year B) they got far more than they bargained for.

We’ve all been mightily challenged.
God cannot bring full healing to our land until marriages are fully restored and reconciled.
This matters more than we can possibly fathom.

So let’s turn to God and ask for His help:

May God bring healing, reconciliation, forgiveness, and flourishing to those marriages that are hurting and to those marriages that are under threat of divorce and under threat of adultery.
May God bring healing to all those whose marriages ended without their consent.
May God grant repentance to the hard-hearted who initiated divorce.
May God forgive us for the times we supported divorce and didn’t pray and encourage reconciliation.
May God grant to married couples the grace to discover the mission and purpose for which God teamed them up together, and to fully co-operate with it.
May those tempted to divorce and to adultery be given the grace to permanently turn away from these temptations and to take measures to prevent such temptations growing again.
May God grant us His help to value and honour marriage as He does, and to valiantly protect it.
May God grant us the grace to soften our hearts towards each other, and towards our spouses, through acts of kindness, love and forgiveness.

Thank You Almighty and Eternal God for the amazing wonder that marriage is in Your eyes.
Amen.

Mary, mother of Jesus, Help of Christians, pray for us.
St Joseph, protector of families, pray for us.

​The Gospel for this Sunday, the 26th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B, is taken from the end of Chapter 9 of St Mark. It comes straight after last week’s Gospel where Jesus gave a lesson on servant leadership and set a child before the Apostles and told them ‘Anyone who welcomes one of these little children in My name, welcomes Me’.

This triggers something in John the Apostle, something that might have been niggling at him for a while, because the words are ‘Ioannes ephe’ ‘John said’. This carries more weight than the more usual ‘Ioannes eitte’, and ‘ephe’ includes connotations of declared, which could include ‘blurted out’.

“Teacher we saw someone else driving out (ekballonta) demons in Your name, and we tried to stop/prevent/hinder/debar (ekolyomen) him (she/it) because he/she does not accompany us (ekolouthei).”

The first ‘him’ (auton) is definitely masculine 3rd person singular. Neuter or feminine 3rd person singular would have been different words. But even Bible Hub’s use of Strong’s 846s’s doesn’t seem to limit the use to masculine only viz ‘Strong’s 846: He, she, it, they, them, same. From the particle au; the reflexive pronoun self, used of the third person, and of the other persons.’

The second verb, ekolouthei, is 3rd person singular, which leaves the ‘he/she/it’ wide open.

Just as a veil has been placed over the ‘someone’ and over whoever and how many of the apostles/disciples constituted the ‘we’ who saw and the ‘we’ who tried to hinder; the ‘auton’ could be a veil as well. Who has never said ‘him’ with their lips, but inferred ‘her’ with an inflection, a roll of the eyes or a conspiratorial smile?

Why was this niggling at John so much that he had to bring the topic up?
Was it because someone else was doing deliverance ministry?
Was it because they (unspecified exactly how many apostles) tried to shut it down?
Was this question niggling at someone else, and John got co-opted to ask the question because he was the least likely to fall out of favour with Jesus?

Prior to this, in Mark 3:15 the apostles were authorised by Jesus to cast out devils. Then in Mark 6:7-13 the apostles get sent out in pairs as missionaries, and they cast out many devils.

Therefore the crowds have seen people other than Jesus, in the authority of Jesus, casting out devils. They have seen the words and the actions done by the apostles, and have also seen the results. At least one person among those crowds was paying careful attention to this; or had received reports of these apostle-initiated deliverances from a friend or relative.

We then see in Mark 9:18 that the apostles (how many?) had been unsuccessful in casting out the spirit of dumbness from a boy.

From Matt 12:27 we know that a ministry of exorcism pre-existed among the Jewish people, because Jesus asks the Pharisees, ‘If it is through Beelzebul that I cast out devils, through whom do your own experts cast them out?’

It is extremely interesting that John says ‘we saw someone’, when he could easily have said ‘we saw a man’. And even more interesting is the reply of Jesus, ‘Do not stop (kolyete) him/she/it/they/them (auton). No one who performs/works/constructs (poiesei) a miracle (dynamin) force/miraculous power in My name can quickly turn around and speak evil of Me.’

Neither John nor Jesus excludes anyone from ‘someone’; Jew, Gentile, child, woman or man.
With the ‘No one’ Jesus includes everyone.

And yes, it is possible for Jesus to have placed a similar ironic emphasis on ‘auton’ as John might have done. Nod nod, wink wink, I get the message you are trying to convey to Me, and which you want to keep from the majority of the apostles lest they be scandalised.

So who would the apostles have felt they had the right (and duty) to boss around?
A Jewish expert in exorcism? No.
A Jewish man? Unlikely.
A Gentile man? Maybe.
A woman? Likely.
A child? Likely.

Who would the apostles have considered to be ‘not one of us’?
A non-disciple? Possibly.
A Gentile? Definitely
A woman? Possibly.
A child? Probably not thought of in ‘us and them’ terms.

Who could have been at desperation level with a demonic situation, but not confident enough to ask Jesus or the apostles for help, yet enough of a believer to know the power of the Name of Jesus, and willing to pray and to try anything to resolve the situation?

A youth? A woman? A Gentile? Any combination of these?

Someone thoroughly grounded in faith in Jesus, who heard or saw that ordinary people were by faith using the power of Jesus to cast out devils, were immensely encouraged by this, and who when confronted with the demonic confidently stepped out in faith – and were successful.

It matters not who exactly they were (age, gender, nationality), - and being male isn’t excluded from that either -; but it does matter that this ‘someone’ gave an amazing demonstration of faith in the name and mission of Jesus, and it does matter that we are open to the possibility of God using anyone in this manner.

Could you ever hope to shut someone down who had discovered this?
Someone who had seen and heard the power of God released through his/her co-operation?
Not on your nellie. No way Jose.

Can you imagine Jesus being absolutely delighted with the news of the faith and ministry of this ‘someone’? Can you imagine Him mirroring the response of Moses in Num 11:28-29?.

‘Two men are prophesying in the camp. My Lord Moses, stop them!’ Moses answered, ‘Are you jealous on my account? If only the whole people of God were prophets and the Lord God have His Spirit to them all!’

While the ‘someone’ could have been anyone from these ‘not one of us’ groups, I’ve been particularly struck that it could have been a woman.

This ministry of exorcist has officially been confined to a subset of ordained men, who have particular authorization from a bishop, and special training. This is wise and prudent.
But the lesser ministry of deliverance has since Mark 16:17 ‘These are the signs that will be associated with believers: in My name they will cast out devils’ been open to anyone with sufficient faith in Jesus.*

You could even, based on Genesis 3:15 ‘I will make you enemies of each other: you and the woman, your offspring and her offspring. It will crush your head and you will strike its heel’, say that holy women might even be exceptionally gifted in this area.

Consider this:
https://www.catholicexorcism.org/post/exorcist-diary-143-female-exorcists

Could it be that just as the majority of women are good cooks, but the great chefs are men; that the majority of good exorcists are priests, but there are a few exceptionally gifted women, with the Mary, the mother of Jesus in the lead, who far excel them?

The bottom line is:
You must not stop those God is using – whoever they are.

What does that mean, practically, for us?
Firstly, that all of us should be praying for an increase in faith.
Secondly, that there’s a lot of evil in this world that needs to be cast out, and that we should be willing and open for God, if He so chooses, to do that through us.
Thirdly, that we should be on the lookout to encourage anyone operating in one of the Holy Spirit’s charisms, especially if God has called them to a ministry of deliverance, and to choose to support them rather than thinking about how to shut them – and the associated weirdness that can be part and parcel of such a ministry – down.

Let’s pray.

Dear Heavenly Father, the faith of this ‘someone’ is astonishing to us, as is Your powerful response to his/her faith in Your ardent desire to set people free from the tyranny of evil spirits.
Please forgive me for my lack of faith in You, in Your goodness, and in Your absolute power to save. As the disciples said, we too say, ‘Increase our faith!’ ‘Increase my faith!’.
Upon all those who are already Your ministers of exorcism and Your ministers of deliverance, and upon all those whom You are calling into these ministries, pour out a double portion of Your Holy Spirit. Under the increased anointing of the Holy Spirit may they be more than twice as effective in these ministries as they have ever been before. Please send these frontline warriors of Yours extra protection and extra assistance from Your holy angels. May none of them ever become casualties in this battle for the salvation and deliverance of souls.
Should you want to call me in this ministry direction, or to any other charism-based ministry, my answer is Yes. I want to co-operate with You to the very best of my ability. Please enable me to do that. Please take away my fears, and the fears of all whom You are calling into battle formation against the enemies of our souls. Please grant us a share in the holy confidence You gave to this ‘someone’.
Please show me how, and help me, to recognise when Your holy charisms are at work through others, and inspire me with ways to meaningfully support and encourage them. Amen.
Mary, mother of Jesus, Help of Christians, Mother of Mercy, intercede for all of us. Amen.
…………………………………………………………….
* You might say, what’s the difference?
An admittedly poor analogy might help.
​It is a bit like the difference between a sacrament and a sacramental, except that it is more the difference between a sacramental with the full backing and authority of the ‘Church universal in time and space’ and an ordinary sacramental activated by faith. For lower level cases, the ministry of deliverance will be sufficient; for anything beyond that the ministry of exorcism is needed.
Thank God for both types of ministry being effective in His Name.

The Gospel for this Sunday, the 25th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year B, is taken from the third quarter of Chapter 9 of St Mark. Between last Sunday and this Sunday (Mark 8:27-35) there has been the transfiguration of Jesus, questions about Elijah preceding the Messiah, and the deliverance of a boy with a spirit of dumbness.

At the transfiguration the Father had a message for the disciples and for us, ‘Listen to My beloved Son’; and what had Jesus been talking about prior to the transfiguration? That the Messiah must be rejected, suffer and be put to death, and be raised up.

After the transfiguration and the deliverance of the boy, Jesus deliberately takes the disciples away from the hurly-burly of public ministry, away from all the usual distractions, so that He could teach them something of the utmost importance.

The crucial mission of the Messiah – far above all the other parts of His mission from the Father – is to redeem the world from sin, to totally conquer evil, and the only way that can happen is through His sacrificial death as the pure and innocent Passover Lamb of God.

Soon the journey to Jerusalem, the one that will take Him to Calvary, to accomplish this crucial mission, will begin. It is imperative that He prepares His disciples for the cataclysmic events that are going to take place.

But it becomes obvious that they are either unable to listen or unwilling to engage with the topic of the necessity of suffering and of the Cross.

One reason for this is denial. Jesus is talking about truly horrific things as being a non-negotiable done deal. It is also our usual first response to bad news.

Another reason is fear. When we experience fear, the body’s fight/flight/freeze response kicks in, and the higher mental functions of reasoning are suspended.

So they don’t do their job as disciples, which is to ask questions of the teacher. Asking questions and probing a topic is how students best come to grasp and internalize that topic. And no teacher can go on to the next topic until he/she is sure that his/her students have grasped the prerequisite topics for understanding the new topic he/she wants to present to them. For example, in order to teach multiplication, you must first teach addition; before you can teach how to cook a mornay, you have to teach how to prepare a basic white sauce.

What kind of questions was Jesus expecting?

Perhaps…
How are You feeling about that?
Is this suffering you are to undergo absolutely necessary?
Help me understand why.
Why is it necessary for the Messiah to suffer like this?
What’s the point?
How do You prepare for sufferings like that?
How do You keep sane knowing that this is coming?
How certain is this, 80%, 90%, 100%?
Does that mean suffering of that order of magnitude is in our paths too?
What do You want us to do when this begins to happen?
How can we help You as You face this?
Is it possible for us to help You in any way?
Those psalms that foretell this are quite scary, is it really going to be like that?
What is the value of rejection, suffering and death?
How should we prepare for when these days overtake us?
Teach us how to prepare for our own times of suffering and trial.
How far away are these events? When will they take place?
How do you want us to handle your burial?
Death is final. What is this event after your death that you speak of?
How will we recognise it?
What will become of us when you are gone?

Can you begin to understand how differently the disciples would have coped with His passion and death if they had asked any of these questions?
Can you begin to fathom the treasures of wisdom and understanding that were there for the asking, but were never asked for, and how much we (the whole church throughout time) would have gained if those questions had been asked?
Can you begin to grasp how frustrating it must have been for Jesus, to see His disciples not listening, and so utterly disengaged from what He is trying to teach them and prepare them for.

Despite their lack of engagement, Jesus still continued to try to prepare the disciples for the horror to come, and also tells them that the horror won’t be the end of the story. What else could He do? He had to trust that when the hour of His passion and death overtook them, that they would remember that He had told them it was going to happen, so that they might find a ray of hope that God was still in control, that this was indeed part of God’s plan, and that His death was not the end of that plan, and there’s something big to come after His death.

Fear and denial are our usual response too
‘dear God I hope that’s not true, may it never happen’.

In fact we do it regularly. We dismiss prophets as false because what they say seems so surreal eg Kenneth Hargin 1963 http://garycarpenter.org/PDF/KennethHagin1963Prophecy.pdf

We did the same with the very few prophets who said ‘pray, because there are laboratories preparing bio-weapons’ and the ones who said, ‘a pandemic is coming’.
It seemed so wild, so far from the reality at that time, so weird, so far-fetched,
and yet ultimately it was true.

Our automatic response at the time was: ‘O dear God, I hope that’s not true, may it never happen’.

It should have been
How do You want me to pray about this?
What do You want me to do about this?
What kind of preparations need to happen to minimize and/or prevent this?
I need confirmation from You to treat this as seriously as You want me to; if this is true please send me confirmation, and help me to recognise it when it comes, as coming from You.

If the disciples can’t hear the part about ‘rejection, suffering and death’, then they can’t hear the part about being raised up either. We don’t know what else Jesus wanted to reveal, because the disciples shut their minds and hearts down and refused to engage in the teaching process.

Jesus must have been so disappointed and discouraged by this. Any teacher is when his/her students just don’t get it and they actively disengage by passing notes and creating paper planes.
And this was teaching of the highest importance, the key to understanding everything else.

To make things worse, instead of spending their conversation time productively
His disciples indulge in that sad masculine pastime of ‘I’m better than you because…’

What did Jesus do?

He set Himself to do the best job of teaching them these unpalatable truths that He could.
That way He knew He had done the best He could, and He could hope that later on they might remember that He had tried to teach them about the cataclysm that was going to happen.

He could have chosen to leave them in the ignorance they preferred
but He loved them far too much to let them face the days of His passion and death without preparation.

Jesus could have walked away, the provocation was there, but He chose to persist with His apostles and disciples. This was probably in obedience to His Father, because part 1 of the messianic mission is suffering, death, resurrection and ascension and part 2 is building the foundations of the church, of the kingdom of God. Both missions had to be fulfilled.

He could also have yelled and thrown things and generally have let His frustrations out with impact, but He doesn’t.
Have you ever tried to teach something as basic as the answer to 10 times 11, and they just couldn’t get it, no matter how many times and ways you tried? That kind of frustration.
Be amazed at His self-control in this situation, at His gentleness, and at His patience.

If we are amazed at His resurrection and ascension, we should be equally amazed at the church that emerged at Pentecost from this motley bunch; and astounded that today it is still continuing His mission, albeit at some times in history much better than at other times in history.

Jesus knew what was going on, with the one-upmanship game, and He had a plan.
But it didn’t get sprung until they were behind closed doors at Capernaum, where they felt safe.
He could have given them a public scolding about being unteachable and about how one-upmanship decreases love and trust.
but He chose to do it in private, to not humiliate them publicly.

But He still got the message across that even if they thought they could hide what they were up to from Jesus, He knew the whole without being told.

He waited patiently, and took this teachable moment when the opportunity was ripe, and then whammied them with a lesson in kingdom values that they would never forget.

Humble service is the yardstick of greatness in the kingdom of God;
the exact antithesis of the world’s yardsticks of money, power, attractiveness and pleasure.

What is the challenge for us in this Gospel?

Don’t be afraid to ask Jesus questions.
Don’t be afraid to ask Jesus difficult questions.
Don’t be afraid to ask Jesus to tell you more when He shows you something that is beyond your current levels of understanding and comprehension.

If you are game, pray with me…

Dear Jesus, there is probably something in my life, or something about my future, that you have been trying to show me, and I just haven’t grasped it. I may not have even picked up on Your signals. I am truly sorry for not having been attentive enough to You. I am sorry for the many times I have not recognised the ways You have tried to gain my attention. I am sorry for the times I have said to You in my words, or by my actions, ‘oh no, I don’t want to go there, I don’t want to know that’. Please forgive me. I trust that You only want to show me things – especially when they are difficult things – to bring about greater good in my life and in the lives of others – and that You know me and love me too much to give me anything that I can’t handle (with You and Your grace to assist me). In Your goodness, please help me to recognise the messages and teaching You are so graciously offering to me. Help me to engage with You on those matters, and to courageously ask You questions about those matters, and to wait for Your answers and to act diligently upon them. Help me to believe You the first time, and to take what You say seriously. I want to be a much better student and disciple of Yours, better than I have ever been before. Amen.
​
Holy Mary, mother of Jesus, please intercede on my behalf for this. Amen.
​