Of all years, 2017 with the 100th anniversary of Fatima and all the other special anniversaries, was filled with expectation of the triumph of Mary's Immaculate Heart. Yet here we are, still waiting for this promise to be fulfilled. What do we cling onto and work towards now?
First we hoped for the year 2000, then we hoped that the Year of the Rosary 2003 would be it, then it was 2008 with the 150 years since Lourdes. Finally we pinned our hopes on 2017, and now renewed deflation is all we have.
It is all feeling more than hopeless. We are told that God knows what He is doing, and that His plans are perfect, and His timing is perfect. That may well indeed be the case, but it sure doesn't feel like it today and it didn't feel like it yesterday either.
Surely the 100 years of our world being the enemy's plaything as disclosed to Pope Leo XIII must be over by now.
There are all kinds of hopes and expectations for 2018 to be the year the enemy gets kicked out from power and God's power starts to visibly reign again.
But by golly, it is hard to believe that we will see this happen when all around us is lacklustre and filled with decay and abandonment. Can God do it? He sure can, but only He can.
But when? When?
I am so very tired of hearing amazing promises after amazing promises and seeing no fulfillment of them, not even a faint flicker of fulfillment of them in my back yard, although I've seen faint flickers in the lives of others.
It is so hard to believe in God's goodness, in His loving tenderness, and in His all-powerful providence when our greatest longings and deepest needs remain unfulfilled – especially when you know He has the power to change our circumstances for the better and to do it in an instant. It is so hard to believe that this delay is the kindest, most loving thing, He can do for us right now.
Will we still seek to serve Him? Probably, there's still no one else who holds out the promise of eternal life.
But will there be anything of us left to resurrect when He decides to act? That's the question.
May we live to see His answers, His recompense and His power in full. Amen.