Society of Saints
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Links
  • Resources - Prayer
  • Resources - Prayer 2
  • Resources - Study Group
  • Resources - FBC Group
  • Resources - Listening to God
  • Resources - Other
  • Could God be real?
  • Could Catholicism be true?
  • Publications
  • About Us
  • Contact us

Divine Renovation Conference Monday 11 June 2018 Breakout Session with Carey Nieuwhof

27/7/2018

0 Comments

 
This part of the #DR18 Conference took place in an auditorium on the nearby university campus in Halifax, Canada.

This is a broad brush transcription. Thankfully (as at 23 Jul 2018) this video is still available on Livestream via North Broadcast Group; however the first 35 minutes are full of sound recording problems. When the sound does get settled, the wait is more than worthwhile.There's far more detail on the recording.

For a brief introduction to Carey Nieuwhof read https://careynieuwhof.com/about-me/

You can also find him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/cnieuwhof/ , on Twitter @cnieuwhof and on Instragram @careynieuwhof .

When I was young I had a dream to drive on an autobahn. A few years ago I was in Germany and I shared this dream with my host, who graciously let me drive. I got up to 120 km/hr, then 150 km/hr and even 190km/hr – at which point I turned to my host and found him in panic. I was driving down this autobahn in a 12 year old Ford Focus station wagon, on roads for which Audi's and BMW's were designed. Do you find yourself with autobahn dreams and Ford Focus station wagon capabilities?

For the purposes of this talk I'm going to give you a bit of my back story, which we definitely won't have time for at tonight's session. My story is a story of church growth in a non-denominational context. Beforehand I was a lawyer, and met my wife in law school. In the middle of law school I experienced a call to ministry. Being in ministry creates a perfect storm.
When I was a lawyer my identity was clear. I was a lawyer by day, and a Christian too, although trying to work out how to do both at the same time. I had friends from school, and friends from the neighbourhood. What I did, what I believed, and my community of friends were largely distinct from each other.

A perfect storm is where three weather systems converge to create a weather event only seen about once every 100 years, wrecking crazy devastation to land and buildings.

The call to ministry required the relocation of our home. Now what I believe was also what I did, -a professional Christian - and where I worked was also where my community of friends was. My three streams of identity converged. Because I thought that more hours equalled more faithfulness, my family suffered.

When we visited friends from church my wife would ask, are we visiting them as friends or as pastors? I still can't answer that question. Our life was now lived in a fish bowl. Whenever I had a bad day this situation became acute, because you can't exactly say, 'I hate my parish', when all your potential listeners are parishioners.

On one hand the church was going really well, and growing rapidly. On the other hand everything else was deteriorating.

Around this time I met Reggie Joiner, one of the founding pastors from North Point Community Church in Atlanta Georgia, who our church had been consulting with. He said, come and meet my boss, a.k.a. Andy Stanley the senior pastor. This led to an invitation to speak at their 2006 conference on leadership. To speak in front of some 2500 people for me was like being invited to play in the Super Bowl. It was an incredible moment, the talk went really well.

But when I got home, I 'fell off the cliff' and depression hit. Things were great on the outside, but had fallen apart on the inside. I had burnt out. I tried to sleep more, to rest more, but nothing made me feel better. I had been cheating sleep for years, and my emotionally my tank was drained. However my relationship with God was fine.

Several weeks in to this experience and I had to admit that it was not going away anytime soon, and in fact instead of getting better it was getting worse. I had to talk to the elder board at the church because this was something I was not going to snap out of – something was broken. They suggested I take a sabbatical, but I knew if I did that I would never return, and I also knew that God's call on my life had not expired.

The healing process took months. It was tough going through the motions, but on the inside still falling apart. Very slowly, some energy and enthusiasm crept back. After 5 months I was at 60%, and after 12 months I was at 80%, but it really took 3-5 years to get back to a 'new normal'. It was pointless to aim for the old normal, because that got me to burn out. I became committed to finding a new normal that would work.

Then people started asking, 'Cary, how are you getting everything done?' You see, this new normal was a whole other gear. Encouraged by these questions I started writing down the principles I had found during this 5 year process of recovery. It resulted in a course called 'The High Impact Leader' https://thehighimpactleader.com/open-now

What is your number 1 time management challenge?
Many people find that it is an inability to focus and complete a task. Mobile phones with their beeps cause many interruptions. I keep my phone on 'Do Not Disturb' mode in my pocket. Research done on the brain says that it takes 5-20 minutes to re-focus after an interruption. Opportunities are a church-word for distraction.

The secret to high impact people is that they 'do what they are best at, when they are at their best'. Rarely do these things line up naturally, you have to be intentional about it.

There are 5 steps to getting there.

Step 1. Abandon balance.
The people you admire most are not balanced people. eg Elon Musk, Steve Jobs. They have an obsession, they are passionate people. Maybe you found someone like that in a coach or a teacher who was willing to go the extra mile because they saw something in you. These kind of people change the world. Embrace passion. Choose to embrace what you are doing with passion. The book, 'The Myth of Balance' by Frank Bealer is very good on this. To achieve balance people work on doing fewer things or less of everything – that's OK if you want life to be a retreat rather than an advance. I want to do and be my best. Have you noticed that a rested you is a kinder you?

Step 2. Stop just managing time.
It gives diminishing results because time is a fixed asset. Every leader gets the same amount of time every day, be they president, prime minister or you and me. There's a difference between being efficient and being effective. Stop saying, 'I don't have the time'. The reality is, you do have the time – that's uncomfortable isn't it? I have the time for it, I just need to make the time. Admit you didn't make the time to do x, y and z. Most of the time you have to say No. Make time for the relationships that matter. Start admitting, 'I had the time, but I didn't do this, I mismanaged my time'.

Step 3. Start managing your energy.
Not all hours are created equal. How many of you are morning people? How many of you are night owls? There are zones throughout our day when our energy is high, when our energy is moderate, and when it is low. There will be 3-5 hours each day when you are at your best and everything is working and flowing. Someone who really knew told me that even software engineers in Silicon Valley only produce 3 really good hours every day. So watch your own personal rhythms and patterns. There's no right answer, only your answer.
Not all tasks are created equal either. Of any ten job description tasks there will be some you love and some you hate. For some it is 'Wow, I can't believe someone pays me to do this'; for others it is, 'I can't believe I have to do this'.
For me, after getting up around 4-5am, I am at my best between 6am and 10am, I have moderate energy in the afternoon, and my low energy times are 4-6pm and 7-9pm.
So work out what energises you the most. It will be something you are gifted at, something that other people value and something that God consistently uses for results.
For me, communication has been my key gift. So I set aside my best hours, at least 3 days a week, for communication (writing, blogging, message preparation etc).
Since our brains lose charge a bit like our mobile phones, move to doing what you do best when you are at your best. I tend to do my emails late in the afternoon, or exercise, or both, during my low energy times.

Step 4. Stop Reacting.
No one will ever ask you to complete your top priorities, they will only ask you to complete theirs. It's just true. Each ask is asking for their priorities to become top. To combat this you need to decide – ahead of time – who you will and won't meet with. Most of us spend 80%- of our time on stuff that produces 20% of results. It would be better to spend 80% of our time on what will produce 80% of our results.
Monday is usually fire brigade day to fix all of the weekend's problems; the microphones that didn't work, the musician who turned up late and unrehearsed etc. What happens? 1) Your people time gets spent on low productivity and low reward situations. 2) The people who are yielding 80% of your results get none of your time.
So spend your time with the high yield people who are not the problem. By doing this you will get them from 'good to great' and from 'great to amazing'. Let the 20% go, it obviously isn't working out for them, encourage them to serve in a different ministry or with someone else. These people drain your day. After you have spoken to your top performers, how do you feel? You feel great and energised.

Step 5. Decide how to spend your time before others decide for you.
Schedule time to do what you are best at when you are at your best. Work on a fixed calendar. Is your August 2020 planned out? Mine is. Life is a series of repeated events. Mondays and Wednesdays are writing days. Tuesday and half of Thursday are meeting days, between 9am and 3pm; this forces efficiency. Meetings are the enemy of work.
I had to cancel many breakfast meetings, because that was my best time, although once in a while I will schedule some on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Saturdays are for the wife and kids, it has family written on it. That way if someone asks you if you are free on Saturday (so you can do something for them) you can say quite honestly that you have a prior commitment. Friday night is date night and Sunday night is rest and relax.

Leaders who achieve the highest level of impact do their best when they are at their best.

Question and Answer session

How do you lead when you are not in charge? Read the book with that title by Clay Scroggins on this topic. Most bosses like to hear the Why behind the What. Even if in your work week 20 hours are already proscribed, you still have control over the rest of them. Focus on what you can control, not on what you can't control.

Balance. If you are making great choices, take sleep really seriously.

Was your burn out like a dark night of the soul? It took lots of very deep prayer and counselling etc to get through it. I have only recently learned to give thanks to God or my burn out.

How do you schedule team meetings if not everyone is a morning person? It isn't a perfect world. We ended up getting biorhythm studies done on all our team members. Office work hours were based on a factory model where the production line stopped if everyone wasn't there. Give your staff as much freedom as you can. Try to schedule meetings in everyone's mid-energy zones. If that doesn't provide the solution, meet in the middle between your high energy zones and theirs.

Where are you doing it, your work? Where I can work without distractions. Know yourself; where do you thrive? For me it was setting up a home office. Multi-tasking equals no-tasking, especially for men.

What about that bottom 20%? They do need care, but whose care do they need? Does it have to be yours? If you don't lead the top tier, they will go somewhere else.

What about funerals? Some pastors have a gift for bringing people closer to God at funerals and weddings, I don't. So funerals are not a strategic use of my time. I only ever do them for important people in my life. But then again, most of my congregation is young. If your congregation has 200 people or less, you can probably manage funerals ok. If you have more than 200 people, you either have to outsource it or staff around it. Think about who else could do it. Does it have to be you?

You can't respond to all pastoral requests. You need a system. Small groups that keep looking after each other are one way to get ordinary pastoral care to people. When you look at the big names in mega-church land it is never a one man show, it is a team of people with a leader. Where you get the true one man show is in the small churches with less than 200 people.
You can find out more about how to set up a system at https://www.breaking200course.com/enrollment-is-open and learn about Breaking 200 Without Breaking You.

.............................................................................................
Below is a printer-friendly version of this broad brush transcription. It is 4 x A4 pages long.
dr18mondaybreakoutsessioncareynieuwhofpdf.pdf
File Size: 140 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Share it around, discuss it with friends and co-workers, and do at least one of these things to improve your impact for the sake of the kingdom of God.
0 Comments
    Picture

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    October 2013
    September 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013

    Categories

    All
    10 Commandments
    1st Rite Of Reconciliation
    24 Hours For The Lord
    2nd Rite Of Reconciliation
    3rd Rite Of Reconciliation
    Abortion
    Active Participation
    Act Of Contrition
    Adoration Of The Blessed Sacrament
    Adultery
    Advent
    Agony Of Jesus In The Garden
    Anniversaries
    Apologetics
    Apostolic Nuncio
    Apparitions Of Our Lady
    Archbishop Porteous
    Archbishop Prowse
    Ark And Dove Week 2019
    Asking The Vocation Question
    Aussie Pilgrims
    Australian Prophetic Summit
    Baptism
    Be Prepared
    Berthe Petit
    Betty Cavanagh
    Book Review
    Broken Bay Diocese
    Building The Kingdom
    Burnout
    Cardinal Pell
    Caroline Chisholm
    Catechumenate
    Catholic Charismatic Renewal
    Catholic Church
    Catholic Newcomers
    Catholics Returning Home
    Catholic Tertiary Education
    Catholic Universities & Colleges
    Cautionary Tale
    CCR
    Central Coast Diocese
    Charisms
    Christian Book Publishing
    Christian Unity
    Church Fees
    Clean Vs Unclean
    Clericalism
    Comensoli Homily
    Commitment
    Communication
    Conference Design
    Conference/Summer School
    Confession
    Confession Of Sins
    Confirmation
    Consecration Prayer
    Consequences Of Rejecting God
    Conversation Answers
    Corruption
    Covenant Communities
    Creative Lectio Divina
    Culture
    Death
    Decision Making
    Decision Time
    Deliverance From Evil
    Denominations
    Desperate Situations
    Devotion
    Diaconate
    Diocesan Plan
    Disabilities
    Discernment
    Divine Mercy Sunday
    Divine Office
    Divine Renovation Conference DR16
    Divine Renovation Conference DR18
    Doctor Of The Church
    Dying
    Dying Process
    Easter
    Eastern Rite Liturgy
    Ecumenical
    Ecumenism
    Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
    Elder Technology
    Employment
    Encounter Jesus
    End Of Life Stories
    Engagement
    Eternal Perspective
    Eucharist
    Eucharistic Adoration
    Evangelii Gaudium
    Evangelisation
    Ewtn
    Exodus 90
    Expectant Faith
    Facilitating Connections
    Faith
    Families In Sorrow
    Family
    Fatima
    Federal Plebiscite
    Feminism
    First Communion
    First Line Welcomers
    First Nations
    First Nations Seminary
    Forgiveness
    Four Last Things
    Fr Bill Meacham
    Free Speech
    Fr George Kosicki
    Fr Hugh Thomas CSsR
    Friendship
    Gerald Coates
    Gift Of Tongues
    G.K.Chesterton
    Glorious Mysteries
    God's Decrees
    God's Love
    God's Modus Operandi
    God's Plan
    God's Reset
    Golden Jubilee
    Gospel Reflection
    Guest Blog
    Happy Meetings
    Hashtags
    Healing
    Helping Young People
    Holiness / Character
    Holy Communion
    Holy Door
    Holy Spirit
    Holy Thursday
    Holy Water
    Holy Wounds
    Homelessness
    Hospitality
    Hour Of Grace
    Human Traditions
    Human Vs Divine Solutions
    Hypocrisy
    ICCRS Charism School
    Ideas
    Immaculate Heart
    Inclusion
    Inclusive Language
    Inculturation
    Indigenous Peoples
    Indulgence
    Integrating Newcomers Into Parish Life
    Intercession
    Intercessory Prayer
    Interpretation
    Interpreting These Times
    Jennifer Eivaz
    Jesus
    Jim Murphy
    Joseph Chircop
    Joyful Mysteries
    Katherine Ruonala
    Kerygma
    Kingdom Wishlist
    Larry Sparks
    Leadership
    Leadership Structure
    Learning From Other Churches
    Lent
    LetUsPray2017
    Life Regrets
    Linda's House Of Hope
    Listening To God
    Litany
    Liturgy
    Liturgy Of The Hours
    Love In Action
    Making Disciples
    Marriage
    Marriage Preparation
    Married Spirituality
    Mary Queen Of Apostles
    Mass
    Mass Homily
    McCarrick Report
    Mental Health
    Mercy
    Message / Homily
    Ministry To Divorced Catholics
    Miracles
    Misery
    Mission
    Missionary Disciples
    Monthly Recollection Day
    Movements Of Grace
    Music
    Napoleon
    National Church Life Survey
    New Evangelisation
    Novena
    Obedience
    Obituary
    Obscure Saints
    Open Letter
    Open To Conversion
    Open To Reform
    Open To Renewal
    Opposition To God's Work
    Ordination
    Our Lady
    Our Lady Help Of Christians
    Our Lady Star Of The Sea
    Palliative Care
    Pandemic
    Parables
    Parents
    Parish Life
    Parish Meetings
    Parish Ministries
    Participant Guide
    Paschal Candle
    Patron Saint For The New Year
    Pentecost
    Personal Log
    Pilgrimage
    Plenary Council
    Plenary Council 2020
    Plenary Council 2021
    Plenary Council 2022
    Plenary Council Agenda
    Plenary Council Motions
    Plenary Council Process
    Plenary Council Proposals
    Plenary Council Theme 6
    Political Leaders
    Pope Benedict XVI
    Pope Francis
    Praise And Worship
    Prayer For A New Bishop
    Prayer Groups
    Prayer Of The Heart
    Prayer Request
    Prayers
    Preaching
    Preparation For Holy Mass
    Pre-Synod Youth 2018
    Priests
    Proclaim 2014
    Proclaim 2014 Conference
    Proclaim 2016
    Proclaim 2016 Conference
    Prophecy
    Prophetic Intercession
    Providence
    RCIA Rite Of Christian Initiation For Adults
    Rebuilt
    Recommended
    Reddit
    Renewal And Reform
    Reparation
    Repentance
    Resources
    Responding To God
    Rest
    Retaining New Catholics
    Revival
    Rosary
    Rosary Meditations
    Sacramental Preparation
    Sacramentals
    Sacrament Of Penance
    Sacraments
    Sacred Heart
    Sacred Scripture
    Sacrifice
    Salvation
    Scientists
    Signs Of Hope
    Silence
    Sin
    Social Distancing
    Social Media
    Social Media Apostolate
    Soft Evangelisation
    Spiritual Communion
    Spiritual Life
    Sr Margaret Wall Rsj
    St Anicetus
    StartupAusCC
    Stations Of The Resurrection
    Statistics
    St Augustine Zhao Rong
    Stewardship
    St Faustina
    St Francis Of Assisi
    St Gregory Of Narek
    St John The Baptist
    St Joseph
    St Raphael
    Strengths
    StrengthsFinder
    Suffering
    Summer Camp
    Summer School
    Surrender
    Survival
    Synod On The Family
    Synod Process
    #TakeTheAdventChallenge
    Teaching
    Teams Of Our Lady
    Teamwork
    Tertiary Study
    Testimonies
    Thanksgiving
    The Body Of Christ
    The Fight Back Plan
    Topics Of Controversy
    Tradition
    Trauma
    Trinity
    True Reverence
    Trusting In God
    Tsunami Of Grace
    Unity
    Unity In Diversity
    Via Lucis
    Virtual Pilgrimage
    Vision Casting
    Vocation
    Waiting On God
    Welcomers
    Welcoming Via Websites
    What Ordinary Holiness Looks Like
    #WhyRemainCatholic
    Wisdom
    WNFIN Challenge
    Women
    World Youth Day
    Worthwhile Charity
    Writing Christian Non Fiction
    Writing Christian Non-Fiction
    WYD Krakow
    Year Of Mercy
    Young Men
    Young Parents
    Youth Group
    Youth Ministry
    Youth Synod 2018

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly