Many parishes are stuck in what seems to be an endless, and fruitless, cycle of sacramental preparation for children; First Penance, First Holy Communion and Confirmation.

It doesn't seem to make any difference whether in a diocese First Holy Communion comes before Confirmation, or vice versa. Even delaying Confirmation until the teenage years makes no difference.

Lots of parish resources are poured into the sacramental preparation of children, and then we don't see those children and their families again.

Because they don't know how else to do it parishes feel stuck, and all parishes seem to be doing much the same kind of preparation.

However a few parishes have begun experimenting with different models for the sacramental preparation of children, and the initial fruit is good even though the different models require significantly more man-power and teamwork.

If you don't mind reading through cathartic layers of grief and pain explaining why the current models don't work as a lead in to a description of these experimental models, then these 9 pages are for you. P.S. There's a bit of ranting included too.

But our human grief and pain is only a drop in the ocean compared to the grief and pain of God at this situation. The desire of His Heart is for life-long relationships of deep intimacy with these youngsters, not for the precious sacramental gifts won by His Passion and Death on the Cross to be disdained so thoroughly.

If we desire to please Him, then we must whole-heartedly seek fruitful alternatives to replace our currently fruitless models of sacramental preparation of children.

Dear God, please send Your Holy Spirit to help us pioneer effective new ways of bringing children into the fulness of the sacramental life which You long for them to experience. Amen. 

Lord Jesus, grant us a holy dis-satisfaction with the way things are, and sufficient holy frustration to do whatever it takes to find and implement the new sacramental preparation pathways You have for us. Amen.  

Write Non Fiction In November : #WNFIN Day 8

The topic for today is inspired by last night's initial session of preparation for the Sacrament of Penance. I get why they call it the Sacrament of Reconciliation; it's more meaningful to the people of our time, but technically it is still the Sacrament of Penance, with three Rites of Reconciliation (First Rite, one on one; Second Rite, group preparation with one on one following and group thanksgiving to end it; Third Rite, general, many on one, for emergency use only).

After introductory discussions about God's love and how infinite and for ever it is, came a very frank look at what God expects our response to that love to be. i.e. 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord s our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.' Deuteronomy 6:4.

It is something that we are all supposed to take seriously, and yet it still comes as a bit of a shock when we go behind the familiar words and ponder what they actually mean and think about how to live them.

God's definition of an acceptable response is perfectly logical if we take the time to consider who God is, how completely dependent we are upon Him, and how much He desires our eternal welfare. For God only the best will do, and calling forth the best from us helps us to develop into the best selves we can possibly become. Every parent wants their child to make the most of their unique gifts and talents, and no parent is happy when a child settles for mediocre instead of fulfilling all his/her potential.

If you have had an experience of God's personal love, then such a full and complete response is normal and natural. But if you have been living a rather worldly life with God on the very outer edges of the picture (i.e. in case of emergency only) then such a required response is draconian and totally and unrealistically extreme.

Our personal preferences cannot change God's word. Ignorance of the spiritual laws that govern the universe is no excuse.

We only have to go back to the book of Genesis to see the difference between Abel who offered God in sacrifice the very best of his flock and Cain who offered the produce of his farming. If it had been the best of the produce Cain's offering would have been acceptable. It was a teachable moment where God invited Cain to do better, and Cain decided that getting jealous of his brother was far easier.

This is really radical stuff, especially for a mum looking for the quickest sessions to attend to fulfill her child's preparation for a sacrament.

It is radical for us too, because we have to stop and think whether we are giving to God the first and the best of our selves and all that we have. Most of us, myself included, are quite comfortable in what we have considered to be 'okay' to give to God – conveniently forgetting that God calls for our 'all' and not for our 'some'.

To see what living this 'all' for God, or as holier people have put it, 'all for the greater glory of God', is all about – we turn to the lives of the Saints. We need to pay attention not only to the St Francis of Assisi and the St Mary Magdalene types, but we also need to pay attention to how the holy people around us live.

Spotting them is easy, look for joyful people who are filled with thanksgiving and gratitude and who do not complain.

How would we measure up beside the stewardship challenge of giving God 10% of our time, talent and treasure? Time in prayer and voluntary service; contributing our skills to the welfare of the body of Christ; and the monetary fruits of our labours.

It is better to start small and grow incrementally than to go all in and peter out quickly.

How are we increasing the quality of what we give back to God? In some ways this is the greater challenge. We give, but is it our very best? How could we make it better, more intentional, more conscious and less habitual and routine? Where have we slipped into compromise and mediocrity?

We might rant and rail at this, and probably will – especially in times of feeling aridity and abandonment – but that doesn't change the fact that our long term (temporal and eternal) happiness depends on living 'all for God' and 'all of my best for God'.
​
Like St Therese of Lisieux if we try to do our best in the little things and do them with great love, then eventually we will get there.

Workshop 3F – Renewing Sacramental Preparation: Engaging our parents and children in the life of faith.

This workshop was led by Marguerite Martin, Pastoral Associate at St Vincent's parish, Ashfield and assisted by Sinead Kent, Family Educator at St Vincent's parish, Ashfield.

(Just a reminder that these notes are rough and do not convey everything that was said, nor the nuances with which it was said.)

Why am I Catholic? That is the big question for me. I've been part of an ecumenical youth team, and have had many lively discussions with the team members. As part of the team we were invited to 'leave church baggage behind and go into State High Schools'. On the positive side it gave me lots of insight into other Christian denominations and what we commonly held as true.

Why am I Catholic? The answer lay in the sacraments, and I grew to love those sacraments with a passion. Around this time, the Parish Priest needed help with Sacramental preparation. The wonder of sacramental preparation is that the people come to us! We don't have to go seeking them. So I helped, and later on I was offered the position of Pastoral Associate.

Ashfield is an inner west suburb of Sydney, close to a railway station. Some people call it 'Little Shanghai' because of its multiplicity of restaurants.

You are here at this workshop because you share the same passion for the sacraments.

The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) program is part of my role in the parish. Through that I met a beautiful Chinese girl who wanted to join the biggest organisation in the western world. I asked her to join me at Mass, and that Sunday Mass happened to have a baptism in it. At the Sign of Peace I encouraged her to say, Peace be with you', and she loved that. At the cup of tea after Mass that day, I left it to the parish community to answer her questions. She asked, 'Why are you Catholic?' and really wanted to know the answer, which was a challenge we all needed.

My role to prepare families for the sacraments is a bit like painting the Harbour Bridge, because as soon as you finish one end, you have to start over at the other end. However, it is such an opportunity to contemplate the intimacy of God in the sacraments and an opportunity to see the action of God in their lives.

When meeting people, everybody matters absolutely. Everybody has a story, and we are lucky of they share that story with us. Then we need to respect that story.

We are the gate keepers of the golden gate. Pope Francis tells us that we need to be warm and welcoming. You can have the best program, but if you can't smell like the sheep it won't resonate in any heart.

I got talking to a woman from a previous parish of mine, a week before her grandchild's First Communion. They had arrived from Italy years ago, and all they knew First Communion was about was faith in God and getting on with it. As a family they were great at celebrating the big things, baptisms, confirmations, weddings etc. Us Catholics, we are the party people. For her this First Communion was an opportunity to dress up and go to a party with the family.

We need to examine whether we are too rigorous, too by the rule, and too possessive when we deal with families who come to us seeking sacramental preparation for their child. Do we reject a family from outside the parish boundaries without asking for their reasons? Do we focus on 'What's your connection to this parish?' when a couple comes looking for a place to get married more than on how great it is that they want to undertake this sacramental commitment? Do we say, 'You've missed a meeting, therefore you can't…..' without finding out the circumstances and offering a catch-up opportunity? Do we insist, 'You have to attend Mass every Sunday, and if not in this parish, you will need proof you attended elsewhere'?

I've actually seen a sign outside a Confessional that had the message, 'God's mercy has a time limit – keep it brief'. It might have got the message across better if it had said, 'The priest is available for confession for a half hour prior to him serving the 6pm Mass. Please be conscious of how many others might want to receive God's mercy too, and adjust how much detail you give accordingly.' God's mercy, of course, has no time limit while we are still breathing.

How accommodating are we towards children with disabilities, eg autism? Sacramental preparation should not be an educational test or exercise in completing worksheets if a child has fine motor skill problems, dyslexia, or any other hurdle that can be got around aurally with a scribe. There are other ways of gauging whether a child has sufficient understanding to receive a sacrament than a pencil and paper test. The Jesuits (Loyola Press) have put together Adaptive Kits for First Communion, Penance and Confirmation specifically for individuals with Autism and other special needs. You can give a family one of these kits and let them work through it at their own pace.

The Adaptive First Eucharist Kit for individuals with autism or other special needs includes eight pieces:
• My Picture Missal Flip Book and Mass Picture Cards are for use at Mass. They help the individual maintain focus and actively participate in the Mass.
• Bless Yourself Matching Puzzle helps the individual learn how to make the Sign of the Cross. This activity can be paired with parent or catechist modelling so it becomes a gross motor imitation task.
• Who Is Jesus? Instructional Story introduces the individual to Jesus as the Son of God and relates God’s family to the individual’s family.
• Communion Is Not the Same as Food Matching Puzzle helps the individual distinguish between the Eucharist and ordinary food.
• How to Receive Communion Matching Puzzle shows all the steps of receiving Communion reverently, providing a guide for the individual to practice. This learning tool may be taught with sequencing or modelling.
• I Receive Communion Picture Book reinforces the reverence and proper steps of receiving Communion.
• Helper Guide includes tips on how to use the kit.
• A backpack so the individual can transport the items from home, faith formation sessions, and Mass.

Judith Lynch's blog on Finding God in the Everyday – Tarella Spirituality is worth a read. The article recommended, 'A Creed about God, Religion, Parents and Families', sadly no longer has an active hyperlink.

Family is the foundational Christian community. Family is where God is first encountered and imaged – physically. Experiences of life, love, forgiveness, community and symbol occur first in the family. Families generate their own rituals and liturgies, and they are good at this. Families share values, belief systems and stories. God's mercy makes sense in the life of family.

A gentleman shared his First Reconciliation story with me. He was frightened. Father disappeared into the 'box' and all the boys were lined up. When his turn came, he was so scared he wet his pants, and the boys following him had to kneel in that spot. He was still coming to church because he had grown beyond that experience. Some of his classmates might not have.

When it comes to Baptism, there are no conditions attached to how parents will exercise their responsibility to educate their children in the faith. Parents who present a child for sacraments of initiation have faith. Whatever experience of faith such parents have, it is to be valued.

How not to do it: Some years ago I was taking registrations for the sacrament of Penance. One of the pre-requisites was a baptismal certificate. One boy came up, but his baptism was in the Uniting Church. His mum was heavily pregnant. I said, 'but he's not baptised'. She left. The poor way I handled this, and the consequences for that mum and son have weighed heavily on me ever since.

A happier story: Thomas was a slightly older child. He was anxious and eager, wanting the sacraments, but not baptised. Finding out the stories behind the situation is crucial. The child's mum was married to a bloke who didn't want the boy baptised. But Thomas kept asking. It was worked out that he would get baptised with his school mates and mum present, because his school mates are his Christian community, and then get plugged back into the parish cycle of the other sacraments of initiation. His persistence, and having someone pick up on and actively listen to his story, made the critical difference.

The parents who come to us have within them the religious truths that enrich their lives, but sometimes just don't have the language to be able to talk about it. We must be careful not to confuse faith with religion. Parents need help to name, claim and proclaim the sacred in the ordinary stuff of their family lives. Parents underestimate their experience of the sacred.

Hugh MacKay's book, Beyond Belief, talks about five levels of belief. 1 Divine Presence 2. Omnipotent Judge 3. Heavenly Father 4. Imaginary Friend 5. Spirit within and among us.

The Church should help parents educate their children in the faith, not the reverse. Many of the things the Church tries to teach parents about God and faith lose their meaning in 'church speak'. Jesus spoke to us in relational terms, using images from everyday experience.

We can't pass on our faith by simply sacramentalising our children, and maintaining a 'getting them done' attitude.

Our church comes wrapped in families. The waters of baptism ripple through our lives. We underestimate the part that God plays in the sacraments.

A priest we know went as a secret missionary to China. He could take no books and no bible with him. He had to go incognito as a teacher. Only when his students began to ask him what he believed in, could he begin to organise illegal gatherings to share stories of his faith in Jesus. The one Gospel passage he took with him was the Sermon on the Mount. In a similar situation, what Gospel passage would you choose?

For me, it would be the story of the Prodigal Son. It is a story we use in our reconciliation programmes. We find it works well when dramatized with volunteers as the main characters, a good narration script and a few props. (Ed. During the workshop we saw this dramatization in action.)

Who do we minister to?
Evangelii Gaudium 14-15 tells us they fall into 3 categories:
• the community of faithful that worships in the pews and those who express their faith in different ways but seldom take part in worship
• “the baptized whose lives do not reflect the demands of Baptism”; who lack a meaningful relationship to the Church and no longer experience the consolation born of faith.
• those who do not know Jesus Christ or who have always rejected Him.

We are on the right track when a father with a son at a Catholic school says, 'I need to know the story about Jesus. We are not doing so well if we are unable to answer a mum with a child who wants to be part of the sacramental programmes when she says, 'If we're doing OK without God, why would I need Him?'

Our constant challenge is how to keep those who come to us seeking the sacraments for their children, and how to keep them interested – especially if they don't feel the need to come to Mass on Sundays.

Pope Francis is eager for us to extend ourselves to evangelising those who come, with patience, with love, with maternal concern and with creativity. We have to be able to bend the rules at times, even though it is uncomfortable for us. Always we need to remind ourselves Whose hospitality we are extending.

No one comes away from a sacrament without receiving something.

It is always through the children that you reach the parents. If the same parent cannot bring them every week, maybe they can be brought by someone else. If they can't make it this Monday, maybe they could catch up with another group on Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, or maybe the group leader can go to their home.

The model of going to church on Sunday is no longer there, which is a great sadness.
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My response

The sacramental model that Ashfield parish is working on is a school based model, with presumably the pastoral associate/sacramental co-ordinator and family educator not working as volunteers. I echo the question asked at the end of the workshop, 'How much of this is transferrable to a family based model led by volunteers?'

I agree that we need to get in touch with what God has already been doing in the lives of the families who come to us for the sacramental preparation of a child, and to respect and value it. Easily we fall into the trap of thinking that if we don't see them at church, then they don't have faith. At least that's one thing we can work on changing.

The other trap is thinking that they have the religious literacy to understand what we are talking about when we say 'church', 'Mass', 'Eucharist', 'sin', 'scripture'. We can't make those assumptions anymore. Just like an author of a story, requires some 'beta readers' to help him locate plot holes and inconsistencies' because he is too familiar with this specific story world that what seems obvious to the author is no longer obvious to the reader. So too, we need to find a group of unchurched people and ask them to help us decode our sacramental programmes so that every word makes sense to them. All too often our programmes are both written and reviewed by people fluent in 'church speak'.

With 15 years in the sacramental preparation trenches under my belt I'm not so sure that being as accommodating as possible is the correct call. Grace might be free, but it is by no means cheap, and I suspect we do a disservice to it if on one hand we say this is the pearl of great price and on the other hand we say you can have it if you do these bare minimums. Maybe I'd think differently if I had ever experienced gratitude from those I went out of my way to help complete the programmes. In quiet moments I've often wondered if things were closer to throwing pearls before swine (Matt 7:6) than good seed into good soil (Matthew 13:8). Getting the balance right between being accommodating and requesting commitment isn't easy.

As you may imagine, I have a lot of sympathy for Fr James Mallon's call to help get families truly hungry for the sacraments by giving them opportunities to be evangelised first. Adding a 'Yes, but not yet' to our response options when families come requesting to 'get their kids done', is something we should consider. By and large we use age of child or grade at school as the guarantee that the child is ready for the sacraments of initiation. Neither measures a individual child's understanding or hunger for the sacraments. The sacraments make sense in the context of a relationship with Jesus and His church, they don't make sense if either relationship is missing.

We still need to be warm and welcoming, and there's a lot we can improve on when first contact is made between family and parish. It shouldn't be first contact, but all too often it is, and all too often the experience resembles battle conflict instead of a family reunion.

Those Adaptive Kits for children with special needs look wonderful.
​
Getting to the story behind the request for sacramental initiation is a worthwhile aim, and would be very fruitful. However it could only be done with an interview process, and most volunteer sacramental co-ordinators I know already give innumerable hours of personal time answering the nuts and bolts questions of families regarding each sacramental programme – or chasing answers to unanswered questions on enrolment forms. To do the interviews would require a paid position, and not many parishes have the resources to make that possible.
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In the next issue will be notes from the workshop on models of parish identity.

​I highly recommend the booklet ‘The Holy Mass – Testimony of Catalina’. It has had a profound and positive impact upon my inner participation at Holy Mass. You can read this booklet in PDF form at http://catalinarivas.excerptsofinri.com/. It tells the story of how Catalina went to Mass one day for the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord and how Our Lady showed her step by step how to really pray the Mass, part by part.
 
Here is an excerpt to whet your interest:
 
“Why must you all arrive at the last moment? You should have arrived earlier to be able to pray and to ask the Lord to send His Holy Spirit. It is He who grants you a spirit of peace and Who banishes the spirit of the world your worries, your problems and distractions in order to enable you to live this so sacred moment. However, you arrive almost when the celebration is about to commence and you participate as if it is an ordinary event, without any spiritual preparation. Why? It is the greatest Miracle. You are going to experience the greatest gift of God from on High and you do not know how to appreciate it.”
 
It is possible to go to daily Mass and get into a rut, and just go through the motions through habit and without engaging the heart. Reading Catalina's booklet is a way out of that rut.
 
The first step (and the step that leads to all the others) is making a personal consecration to Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart. This prayer from Pope Pius XII is a good starting point for that.  
 
Preparation is an important and essential ingredient. It has many aspects. You can read one of the Readings the day before. You can make spiritual communions. You can ask Our Lady to prepare you to receive her Son worthily. Aim to arrive at church early enough to do final spiritual preparations, and in time to separate your thoughts from what has gone on before. It is important to pray for the priest who will preach, that he will preach according to mind and heart of Jesus and in full harmony with His Truth. It is important to seek the intercession of the guardian angels of your parish etc, to intercede before God for the grace and help of the Holy Spirit to enable the congregation to participate fully in the Mass. Regular meditation upon the Passion of Jesus is also essential.
 
Consider praying for all of those who will be attending the same Mass with you, that they will receive the grace of conversions. ‘Two for the price of one’ specials are great, so do a deal with the Holy Souls, you pray for them, and they pray for the attendees. Do some spiritual reading with the writings of the Saints about the Mass and Holy Communion and Adoration on a regular basis. Their writings help us to soar out of our everyday muddy thinking and into the realms of God’s truth. Regular time in prayer before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament outside of Mass also deepens our participation within Mass.
 
Then bring to mind before Mass, or at the Offertory, or both, the intentions for which you are offering the Mass, keeping in mind St Claude de la Colombiere who wrote:
‘When I hear Mass, when I offer the holy sacrifice as priest or as a member of the Church, I can with full courage and confidence defy heaven to do anything that pleases God more. Then I can ask for pardon and be sure of obtaining it no matter how great or numberless my sins. Whatever I hope for and desire I can pray for confidently. I can ask for great graces of every kind for myself, my friends, and my enemies, and far from being ashamed at asking for so much I shall know it is little in comparison with what I offer. My only fear is that I shall ask too little and not have a firm, unshakeable hope of obtaining not only what I ask but far more.
If we only knew the treasure we hold in our hands! Happy a thousand times those who know how to profit by the Mass!’
 
During Mass itself, a very good and simple way to keep focused, is to bow your head every time the name of Jesus is mentioned.  Try to pay attention when making the sign of the cross. It is helpful to make a sign of the cross when the priest says ‘May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, ..’ It makes the praying of the Creed come alive if you bow (as the liturgy invites) at the words ‘and was made man’.
 
During the homily it is easy to listen and to pray short prayers like ‘Jesus, Mary, I love you save souls’ over and over to win grace for those who are listening. You actually listen twice as well. At the epiclesis, when the priest holds his hands over the bread and wine calling down the Holy Spirit, we too, can pray a brief ‘Come Holy Spirit’. At the consecration, the little silent prayer ‘My Lord and my God’ can win an indulgence for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. At the right time, pray especially for the Pope and your bishop. Remember those who have died at the memento for the dead, those with anniversaries of death, those special to you etc.
 
At the priest’s communion is a special time to pray specifically for the priest (or priests) who are celebrating the Mass.
 
After Mass, linger in thanksgiving and prayer as long as you possibly can. During the day, make a point of saying a personal thank you to Jesus for such a great gift.

The following quotations will also help you:
 
Jesus to Mamma Carmela Carabelli, Thursday, July 25, 1968
'…Remember, My children, that whosoever receives unworthily My Body and My Blood, receives his own condemnation, and whosoever does not receive this Holy Sacrament with proper dispositions, will not be able to obtain the spiritual benefits for which I instituted the Holy Eucharist. And now I will explain:
It is not so much the preparation of words that I desire, but the interior concentration which makes you aware of a solemn act which you are about to accomplish, one which makes you acknowledge the grandeur of this gift and your unworthiness, and which leads you to reciprocate with love the greatest gift of love the Son of God has made to you by giving Himself wholly to you.
A good preparation is the guarantee of abundant fruit. You certainly will not be able to improvise in the few minutes that precede this solemn act of Communion, but by desire, you will be able to long for My coming to you from the moment of your first awakening in the morning.
If you knew how much I desire to meet with you, to come into your heart, to dwell within you! By desire, you can already receive Me spiritually and prepare your soul for the Sacramental meeting.
Pray to My sweetest Mother to help you to prepare well for the reception of Her bread, which is her flesh which She gave to Me and which I give to you as a pledge of holiness and eternal life.'
 
Jesus to Mamma Carmela Carabelli, Friday, September 13, 1968
'…Always keep lit the torch of faith when you prepare yourself for Holy Communion; do not do as the foolish virgins, for faith is indispensable to the things of God. Put in the oil of love and be certain that each Communion, prepared in this way, will bring forth its spiritual benefit. A Communion without preparation is an insult and an offence to My Heart. Be aware of this and make it known.'
 
Jesus to Gabrielle Bossis, July 23, 1942, ‘He and I’
'…Here I am. I was waiting for you. When My children receive Communion in the morning, I wait during the day for their little visit of thanks. Haven’t I deserved it? Just think what it means to receive Communion. How heartless not to say thank you! I gave all of Myself to My little children. Whoever wants Me may take Me. And those who receive, receive all heaven, for heaven is your Christ. But don’t ever take such an immense favour for granted. Think of each Communion as a first Communion…'

Our Lady of the Blessed Sacrament, pray for us
St Claude de la Colombiere, pray for us
​St John Vianney, pray for us

Workshop  2A: RCIA: Ideas for welcoming new Catholics AND ensuring they stay

This workshop was presented by Sharon brewer of Canberra Goulburn diocese.

Sharon Brewer is a wife and mother to four children. After her family her second passion is her involvement in parish life. For the last 23 years she has been involved with the parishes of St Francis of Assisi, Calwell and more recently Corpus Christi Parish, South Tuggeranong. Sharon first became involved through the Parish Social Group and then offered her help with parish administration. As the Tuggeranong Valley became one of the fastest growing areas in Australia, Sharon assisted with Baptism classes for many families. Over time she became more involved in the sacramental preparation of children. In recent years she has been developing programs for Older Child Baptisms, Teenage Sacramental Programs, adult faith formation and assisting with the RCIA program. Additionally she has collaborated in the publication of a quarterly parish magazine and the Corpus Christi Parish Prayer Book.

At the start of the workshop Sharon asked for a show of hands of cradle Catholics vs converts, and then how many of the converts had been through an RCIA process as opposed to one on one sessions with a priest. About 3 or 4 had been through an RCIA process.

Sharon then went briefly through some of RCIA handbooks and publications on offer from various Australian dioceses. Some of them are hardcopy, others are DVD sets or can be downloaded from websites. The choice of which resources to use has to be made on pastoral level and not on a practical level. To use the same handbooks year in and year out does not take account of the different mix of enquirers in each 'intake' and what would suit that intake best.

From visiting parishes in the Canberra Goulburn diocese and asking about their RCIA experiences and retention rates, it was clear that the smaller more isolated parishes had better retention rates than the bigger city parishes. This is likely to be because the smaller more isolated parishes have stronger, less fractured communities, than bigger city parishes.

One way to get greater involvement and understanding in the parish about the RCIA is to hold an Open Night rather than an Enquiry Night. If people know more about the RCIA process they are more likely to invite someone to come along, and to get involved themselves.

One trend we have noticed is that there are more children / teenagers wanting to become Catholics in the school setting. The challenge is how to run the RCIA / RCIC at the schools and still link them into the parish. The parish has to go to the young people, and cannot expect the young people to come to the parish to do the programme. Currently 'The Christ We Proclaim' is being re-written for the Australian context and is being field tested. Look for it to be available for use in the next 12 months.

Another trend is that 15 years ago new enquirers would come knowing that they would have to get their marital issues sorted out before becoming fully initiated Catholics. Now we are finding that people are getting towards the end of the RCIA programme before finding out that they need to get their marital status in the eyes of the Church sorted out, together with all the tears, disappointments and delays that situation causes. It is very important to do an interview process at the start of the RCIA journey in order to get all those things out into the open (re-marriages, de-facto relationships, blended families, any need for annulments etc) so that they can get worked on while the RCIA is going on. While the interview process cannot be an interrogation, it still needs to be both pastoral and thorough.

What are our enquirers / seekers seeking?

Enquirers have different needs and cannot be treated the same. Here are some common scenarios. At the workshop participants were broken up into groups and given a scenario each. Then they had to answer two questions:

1) Name three things your enquirer might be looking for in the RCIA process.

2) Name three things your enquirer might be looking for in the faith community

1. Mr Jones is married to Mrs Jones, who has been a Catholic all her life. They have three children who have gone through a Catholic school. After 20 years of marriage, he is thinking of becoming a Catholic.
   
   
2. Jessica Smith is in Year 11 at high school. Her parents are not Catholic but thought it might be nice to send her to a Catholic school. Because of her school experiences Jessica is thinking about becoming Catholic.
   
   
3. Mr and Mrs Green are not Catholics, but they are interested in sending their children to a Catholic school. This was picked up in the enrolment interview process and the Parish Priest has asked them to go along to the RCIA enquiry night. They probably will attend, since they realise that they might have to get their children baptised in order to increase their chances of their enrolments being accepted.
   
   
4. Patricia Brown is in her mid 60s and when she was a little girl she went to Sunday School. Now she is divorced, her children have left home, and she is feeling lonely. She is not a Catholic, but knows there is a Catholic church near where she lives and wonders if she could become a part of that community.
   
   
5. Jack is in his late 20s and has a few tattoos. He's done a few crazy things and he is struggling with relationships. Could religion help him?
   
   
6. Melanie is studying at a Catholic university and hopes to graduate as a teacher. She was baptised Catholic, but her parents didn't go to Mass and she did not complete her sacramental initiation. Her uni friends are advising her that she will have a better shot at getting a job in a Catholic school if she has completed the sacraments. She's thinking about it.
   
   
7. Frederick White was baptised and raised in another Christian tradition. He takes quite an academic approach to life. He no longer identifies with the church he grew up in and has heard some interesting things about the Catholic Church. He's making enquiries.
   
   
8. Max is engaged to Mary. She is a Catholic and would like a nuptial Mass for her wedding. Max is not a Catholic, but is prepared to do whatever it takes to please Mary. One snag, the wedding date is a few weeks before Easter.
   
   

Each of these enquirers will have different expectations of the RCIA process and it will be very rare that they are coming because they want to find God or Jesus. Some of them ….  

• Will want to know exactly what is required. How much time is involved, any costs? They almost need a spreadsheet plan with dates and times etc. Detail is what they want, including who will be involved (the priest, the team, others), and how the whole process works.
  
  
• Will want a lot of flexibility - they won't be able to get there every week - does that matter? They'll be looking for the easiest path and the minimum requirements. Do they really have to do the "Easter Thing" i.e.do they have to wait that long.
  
  
• Will need a way to discuss their personal baggage/problems etc. All of them will bring baggage. Does your parish have access to counselling services or a pastoral care person? The RCIA team need to help such people address those issues outside of the RCIA meetings and should be looking for people outside the team to assist them.
  
  
• Will want to know why the Church is interested in their previous/current marriage arrangements. Make sure you get to know the person at the diocesan marriage tribunal who does have the answers. Does your parish have the resources to help them (books, DVDs, web-links)? What assistance and advice can the marriage tribunal give?
  
  
• Will want a very academic approach versus a more conversational/storytelling approach.
  
  
• Will want to know how you live your life of faith - you need to be honest and vulnerable. Be prepared to share your struggles in detail. Be prepared to share how God has worked in your relationships. If you share at this level they will be able to begin a relationship with you, and through your experiences get the courage to start building a relationship with God.
  
  
• Won't know what to expect at all.
  
  
•  The person who comes who doesn't know what they want will be the hardest to satisfy.
  
  

The way you start small talk with your enquirers will have an impact upon how quickly you can build a relationship with them. You need to step out of your comfort zone and talk about something other than 'What do you do for a living?' For example, 'What did you think about Father's talk tonight?', 'Where do you think you are on your faith journey?'  Remember, everyone is somewhere on their faith journey, if they got as far as an enquiry night they are not at the very beginning.  You will know that the conversion process is going in the right direction when they start to discover God's love and get excited about it. Sharon knew they had nailed it when all of them when writing about their RCIA experiences talked about discovering God and how much He was now part of their lives.  

What are our enquirers / seekers looking for in a faith community?  

• They will be looking for the very same things that cradle Catholics are looking for in their faith community.
  
  
• They will be attracted by ministry (especially hospitality), music (good liturgy) and message (something to nourish the soul and to chew over) - "The Rebuilt Story". Until a parish starts doing these three tasks well, parishioners will not begin to invite newcomers to their Churches.
  
  
• They are looking for relationships, with God and with the parishioners.
  
  
• They want to feel that they belong on the journey to God together with the congregation.
  
  
• They want to learn how to find their way to God through prayer.

 
Keeping it going

Just because an enquirer has started the journey into the church, it doesn't mean that they will finish it.

• The enquirer tells you 'I'm exhausted. I've got to have a break'. That means they are beginning to drift away. In such cases it does help to have non-team parishioners praying for the enquirers and verbally reminding them of those prayers once in a while.
  
  
• It is crucial to build the expectation that the initiation process ends at Pentecost not at the Easter Vigil, and even after Pentecost they haven't finished learning and growing – and that this is a full lifetime's work. If there is an expectation that there are some vital follow-up sessions/events/experiences, they will come.
  
  
• Keep reminding them that the time of mystagogy (the life long journey of growing closer to God) is not an "add-on" or "optional extra" but something essential. (Ed. Would you teach a youngster the road rules then give him the keys of the car and give him or her no further driving help? Of course not! Theory is one thing, practical experience is quite another). Build up some excitement for the post-Easter Vigil  learning and sharing.
  
  
• The RCIA team needs a break. The usual programme from August to March/April is a long haul. To keep things fresh and interesting it is worthwhile introducing some new team members during Holy Week who will be involved in the mystagogy process. That will lighten the load a bit.
  
  
• Some team members will need pastoral care themselves. Team members should be looking out for each other and alert for the early signs of burnout.
  
  
• Consider options that don't necessarily involve the team, eg. other parishioners or other parish groups, diocesan follow-on and adult ed. programs.
  
  

Things to look out for after the sacraments of initiation have been received :

• The downer after the high.
  
  
• The newcomers may feel that they are not special any more. Now they are just another Joe Bloe in the pew. To illustrate this, one mum had post-natal depression and had attempted RCIA three times. Prior to becoming a Catholic she would go up in the Communion procession and receive a blessing, maybe the sign of the cross on her forehead. Now she was receiving the Body of Christ, but she wasn't receiving that physical touch and she really missed it.   
  
  
• The newcomers may feel like they are on their own with no one to turn to for further help or advice (particularly if the team are busy with a new intake of enquirers).
  
  
• We should look out for tell-tale comments like "it doesn't matter if I miss Mass every now and then, because no one will miss me if I'm not there, so it doesn't matter if I come or not'.
  
  

 Ideas for keeping them coming back
 

• Consider giving them a regular task to do in parish life.
  
  
• Foster a sense of gratitude so that the transition from consumer to both consumer and contributor is smooth. We need to have answers for how they can support the local parish and for how the local parish can support them.
  
  
• The parish needs a plan at the parish council level for integrating the new Catholics into parish life. It requires both thinking and planning to make it happen.
  
  
• Get your parishioners involved along the way. Make some of your RCIA meeting nights 'open nights' for anyone to attend. However if you do, make sure that the hospitality is excellent (ie far more than tea, coffee and a biscuit). It is very important that the team regularly attracts fresh blood and doesn't become a clique.
  
  
• Get your new candidates onto e-mailing lists for both the parish and the diocese, eg Cath News, parish bulletins, diocesan e-zines.
  
  
• Get them to tell their story in person (at church, in schools) and to write it down too, and publish them in your diocesan magazines and online eg http://myfamilymyfaith.org.au/
  
  
• Help them to discern their gifts and charisms and encourage the use of them. They need to understand how the Holy Spirit has gifted them beyond what they were already good at. The Called & Gifted programme is good for this. http://bne.catholic.net.au/asp/index.asp?pgid=11362
  
  
• Consider what could they offer the next RCIA process
  
  
• Ask the bishop for some words of encouragement and send it to them in a letter from him.
  
  
• Send birthday and Christmas cards, and 'one year since the Easter Vigil – how are you going?' cards
  
  
• Personally invite them, by phone, text email, to events such as Faith formation and social events.
  
  
• Offer once in a while to come and take them to Mass so that you can go together for coffee afterwards
  
  
• Introduce them to good internet links and websites and YouTube clips.
  
  
• Give them personal encouragement.
  
  
• Don't underestimate the importance of excellent sponsors. These will be their role models, their encouragers and their listening ears. The right sponsor makes an enormous difference, since their role will last much longer than the RCIA process. Discourage if you can sponsors who are friends at a similar point in their faith journey as the candidate. If necessary, live with it and appoint a mentor for them instead.
  
  

Useful Resources  

The Catholic Enquiry Centre has brochures that can be downloaded for free. http://www.catholicenquiry.com/

Fr Robert Barron  10 one hour DVDs http://www.catholicismseries.com/study-program

Australian Catechumenate Network http://www.ozcatechumenate.org/

At Home With God's People, http://www.ahwgp.com/asp/index.asp?pgid=11988 from the Archdiocese of Brisbane

Fr Robert Barron, YouTube 'The Real Presence' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJjW3LXuHzo

The Skit Guys http://skitguys.com/ Christian video clips

Encouraging words from Pope Francis  

"All of us are called to offer others an explicit witness to the saving love of the Lord, who despite our imperfections offers us His closeness, His word and His strength, and gives meaning to our lives. In your heart you know that it is not the same to live without Him; what you have come to realise, what has helped you to live and given you hope, is what you also need to communicate to others".  (EG 121)

"So what are we waiting for?"  (EG 120)

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The next blog-post will be about the keynote talk on trends in the National Church Life Survey – which may get posted in two parts.

Some of the workshops have been made available as podcasts via www.xt3.com

To access them visit http://www.xt3.com/library/view.php?id=17454
 

Dear Parent of a child preparing for First Communion

Greetings and peace to you

I'd like to begin a conversation with you, and to find some middle ground.

It's like this, I've been helping small groups of parents and children prepare for sacraments for over ten years now.

I meet you and your beautiful children four or five times during the preparation and then if I am lucky I might meet you again down the shops once or twice again, but never in the parish church.

Mostly, but not always, you come unwillingly to the preparation sessions. Your lives are busy with work and after school activities like sport, swimming and dancing and keeping a household functioning and this sacramental stuff seems like just one more burden to be endured.

It is my task to prepare your child for a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, only begotten Son of God and Redeemer of the human race. I know from 1 Corinthians 11: 26-32 that there are very real and bad consequences to receiving Holy Communion without adequate preparation, so I have to take it very seriously. Conversely I know that there is absolutely no greater nor more wondrous gift that God can give us than Himself in Holy Communion.

Sadly most of you cannot see an immediate relevance to your life and to your child's well being of having a relationship with God anchored in this personal encounter Sunday by Sunday.

The thing is God likes to take things slow and gentle, since He wants to build a relationship with you that will last for all eternity and satisfy your every desire - and we like instant answers (thanks Mr Google) and low maintenance relationships (a la Facebook). 

That's why the sacraments can only be fully understood and appreciated in the context of a long term committed relationship with God. He Himself in the Bible often uses a marriage analogy to describe the kind of relationship He wants with us.

If you have found your experience of sacramental preparation unsatisfactory, then that's understandable because one night stands are deeply unsatisfactory on the majority of levels.

You might even have found that the people in the pews haven't given you much in the way of warm fuzzies either. Remember that they have seen many families appear for the duration of the sacramental preparation, and then disappear never to be seen again, except perhaps in the weeks leading up to enrolment for high school. There is a high likelihood that you and your family might be like them. They don't like the equivalent of one night stands either.

On average it takes at least six weeks of sitting in the same general area at the same Sunday Mass in the same parish for parishioners to work out that you are not there on holiday, and that it might be worth the risk getting to know you. Your patience will pay huge dividends, I promise you. The people sitting around you in your parish church are people whose lives have been deeply touched by God - most of them are walking miracles of His grace. If you got to know them, you would be inspired to praise God every time you saw them.

Obviously the current methods of sacramental preparation are failing to get the majority of families on the path to increasing God's relevance in their lives from 0-2 out of 10 to anything higher. So what do you think would have to happen for you to place an absolute priority on getting to Sunday Mass?

I'd really love to know.

(The Comm Box is open)

Catherine