On Pentecost Sunday 2020 the Reports from the Plenary Council’s six Writing and Discernment Groups were released. I have read Philippa Martyr’s and Fr John Miechels’s commentaries on these Reports. Both commentaries are well worth reading. But they do make a person reluctant to read the Reports themselves.

But read them I sadly must.

Before I do that, I wish to outline the lens from which I am approaching these documents.

From the start I thought that the process was flawed, because we know what God wants us to do – it has been outlined in Novo Millennio Ineunte and in Evangelii Gaudium. The question is how to do it authentically in an Australian context.

While the phases of the Plenary Council up till now have had paperwork reminding us to ‘Listen to what the Spirit is saying’ and ‘What do you think God is calling us to do’, in practice people have been answering very different questions, viz ‘What do you think the Church ought to be doing?’, ‘What would you like to see change in the Church?’, ‘What could we actually, concretely do, towards these themes at diocesan, deanery and parish level?’. Notably absent has been any question about what God wants me to do to contribute, and likewise absent any consideration about where all these mythical people and unlimited resources who are going to make it happen are going to come from (and how to motivate them). In practice people have been told, ‘This Plenary Council is your chance to change things, speak up for what you want, the more vocal you are, the more likely something will happen’.

In such a climate, consensus is not a reliable indicator of the will of the Holy Spirit.

Further absent, and most disturbing, is how often God’s action is left out of the deliberations: it’s a kind of, ‘He can join in if He wants to’ mentality, instead of seeking His input, guidance and power first and foremost. How strange it is when we say we are guided by the Holy Spirit, and then act as though only more committees and layers of hierarchy are needed to achieve anything.

God’s will and purposes have not changed. Always He calls us back to the original blueprint. Even before the Bible existed, family was the foundation of God’s plan. The Bible is the story of the family of Abraham, and it contains the accumulated wisdom about how God wants that family to live in fulness of life. As the family goes, so goes the Church. Where do we get the power to live as members of the family of God? From the Holy Spirit. A new evangelisation is not possible unless there is a new Pentecost, and there is no Pentecost without the Holy Spirit.

Thus for me, Scripture, Family and the Holy Spirit are the non-negotiable essential keys for discovering what God wants us to do in this Great Southern Land of the Holy Spirit. However none of them were referenced in the titles of the 6 Themes of the Plenary Council, and this continues to disturb me greatly.

So as I read (plough through) the 6 Reports, I am going to tally up any references to Scripture, Family and the Holy Spirit, and if I come across any ideas worth pursuing, I will list them.

Obviously it was not an easy task for the Writing and Discernment Groups because they had so many answers to the wrong questions to sift through.

Scripture references are counted when they occur in the body of the text (not in the footnotes) and are recognisable quotations (not cf.’s). Family has to be specifically referenced, references to parts of families eg women, children, elderly etc do not count. All too often we do not view families holistically, which is strange if we believe that each family is a domestic church, and when there is plenty of evidence in the Scripture for God entrusting specific ministries to specific families in perpetuity. Recently during the pandemic lockdown without the usual institutional church structures, we had to live church as domestic churches and began to rediscover this ancient reality. Both ‘Spirit’ and ‘Holy Spirit’ are counted.

Please take these as ‘about right’ numbers and not as exact tallies. Your own tally is likely to be different to mine, but definitely similar.

Theme 1: Missionary and Evangelising
Scripture references: 23
Family references: 6.5
Holy Spirit references: 10
(from page 6) The renewal of our world begins with personal renewal of our lives lived according to the Gospel which invites us to a personal encounter with Jesus, who offers us the gift of God’s love.
(from page 12) For our sacramental initiation to bear fruit, our journey will be one of growing in our relationship with Jesus, the community of His followers and our wider society. This growth is facilitated through the family, the school and the parish community.
(Prioritised Question 6) Given the importance of the family for the missionary and evangelising activity of the Church, how can we best promote a Catholic vision of marriage and family?

Theme 2: Inclusive, Participatory and Synodal
Scripture references: 16
Family references: 4
Holy Spirit references: 7
(from pages 6 & 10 ) Inclusion recognises that every person is a doorway into the mystery that is the Body of Christ.
(from page 9) Our society has become increasingly indifferent, sometimes even hostile, to family life in all its stages, and to those who make family a priority. At each stage of the growth of their children, families experience unique joys but also struggles which, if left unattended, can lead to disengagement and rift, both with each other but also the Church.
(from page 16) Catholics must tirelessly and fearlessly affirm the unique dignity of each and every child, and the inestimable value of the labours of every parent.

Theme 3: Prayerful and Eucharistic
Scripture references: 15
Family references: 6.5
Holy Spirit references: 11
(from page 7) The family is the usual birthplace of faith and the Church recognises that parents are the first and foremost educators of their children (Gravissimus Educationis
(from page 12) When we are formed in the Gospel, God’s people recognise Jesus in daily life.
(from Proposals for Change 1b) Equip each of our Church communities and organisations to support the creation of small communities of faith and life, centred on prayer with Scripture and sharing heart to heart. Encourage these small communities to gather regularly for the development of faith, the sharing of life over a meal and for spiritual nourishment.
(Are not families also small communities?)

Theme 4: Humble, Healing and Merciful
Scripture references: 13
Family references: 1.5
Holy Spirit references: 5
(from page 11) We are invited to witness the wounds of Jesus in those who have been wounded by the Church.
(from page 12) God is asking us to recognise it is restoration to the family of God that brings true wholeness, and that all the faithful have a role to play in the healing of the wounded.
(from page 12) We cannot separate Christ from the wounded: “just as you did it to one of the least of my family, you did it to me” (Mt 25:40).

Theme 5: Joyful, Hope-filled Servant Community
Scripture references: 3
Family references: 5.5
Holy Spirit references: 1
(from page 5) Australia is a land that prizes freedom, equality and egalitarianism, a ‘fair go’ and mateship. However, mental illness, sickness, loneliness, family or financial pressures afflict many Australians.
(from page 8) “the joy of love experienced by families is also the joy of the Church.” (Amoris Laetitia)
(from Challenge 1, page 11) Particular attention should be given to the reasons why so many young people and their families are absent from our parishes, and how schools and parishes might address this concern.

Theme 6: Open to Conversion, Renewal and Reform
Scripture references: 5
Family references: 3.5
Holy Spirit references: 3
(from page 5) “...if the parish proves capable of self-renewal and constant adaptivity, it continues to be ‘the Church living in the midst of the homes of her sons and daughters.’” (Evangelii Gaudium 28)
(from page 11) The consultation highlights the importance of a personal encounter with Christ as the basis of the life of faith, and the need for a supportive and faith-enriching Church community in which to deepen and live out our Catholic identity. Catholics sense a call for greater integration of faith and life, for discerning ways of discipleship — at home and at work, online and in local communities.
(from Question 2a on page 15) How can the structures and ministries of the local churches reach out and be more connected to today’s Catholics in their family life, communities, workplaces, culture and leisure?

                         - - -    - - -   - - -  

If we believe that the Holy Spirit is the soul of the Church, and the goal of the Christian life is the acquisition of the Holy Spirit (St Seraphim of Sarov), then is it not exceedingly strange that the charisms of the Holy Spirit were not referenced in any of the Theme Reports? How can we possibly do the work of the Kingdom of God without prophecy, healing, intercession, discernment of spirits, words of knowledge, words of wisdom, miracles, deliverance, signs & wonders, and those with anointings from the Holy Spirit to preach, teach and evangelise? Working out how to make room for them in normal parish life, and normal family life, is what we need. Because without God all of our efforts will be fruitless, and utter wastes of time.

It is said that where you have been under the greatest attack from the evil one is the very place to expect the greatest victories. All aspects of family life, from conception to the grave, have been under extreme attack. Is not this where we should no longer be on the defensive, but positively placing our resources to assist the growth of families as domestic churches and households of grace?

And neither can happen without returning to the Scriptures and sincerely studying how God relates to families, and how to co-operate with the Holy Spirit.
  
To focus on family, on the Holy Spirit, and about what God has to say about them in the Plenary Council deliberations, with those two aforementioned papal documents for guidance, now that would be truly worthwhile.

#plenarycouncil  #plenarycouncil2020

As we look to Pentecost in just a few days’ time, it seems like a good idea to do a general reflection about the last 10 weeks of living under lockdown conditions. It will serve as a reminder to how thing were, prior to Pentecost 2020 and prior to the new normal.

These thoughts are in no particular order.

One of the good things that has emerged is the online Pilgrimage to Pentecost, under the auspices of the Sydney Archdiocese, with 6 weeks’ worth of talks from international and Australian speakers about the Holy Spirit and a pre Pentecost novena of prayer to join in with. At last look, something like 80 countries have joined in this online pilgrimage.

Similarly, the Ark and Dove retreat centre, has been hosting a 7 day series of online talks, modelled on the Life in the Spirit seminars in preparation for Pentecost. If only all the parts had English subtitles, and vice versa for those joining in with Spanish and Portuguese backgrounds. At least it reminds us how international the Church is.

An overarching theme of the last 10 weeks has been rest. There has been extra time to dedicate to prayer, and an opportunity to slow down. Not having to be anywhere at a designated time, except for regular medical appointments, has been a strange experience for someone used to getting up and getting along to morning Mass. What a weird thing it has been to be without routine! But a circuit breaker was certainly much needed.

Thankfully there were already a few places offering daily Mass online prior to lockdown, and as each day passed the number of places multiplied. A combination of daily online Masses, spiritual communions, and the Liturgy of the Hours has been getting me through. It is ‘the Mass that matters’ after all, and a fresh opportunity to appreciate that truth.

We were able to take part in the Easter Triduum because St Mary’s Cathedral livestreamed it all, including Tenebrae, and put it on YouTube as well. It was a very big and additional blessing for the 3pm Good Friday Commemoration of the Passion and the 10.30am Easter Sunday Mass to be broadcast from the Cathedral on national television.

As the weeks passed, so did the patterns of online Masses, going from a combination of Sydney based and EWTN, to adventures all over the world. St Mary’s Cathedral, Sydney, North Sydney/Lavender Bay, St Patrick’s Church Hill and Hornsby Cathedral became the baseline, and Leeds Cathedral, Toronto, St Bernadette’s in South Africa, Walsingham, the Capuchin Franciscans of Oxford, Berala, Cronulla, Hunters Hill and Penshurst the icing on the cake. Also worthy of mention are the Divine Retreat Centre at Somersby, Melton VIC, Blackburn North VIC, Glendalough WA, and Seven Hills NSW.

My fluency in Latin responses has vastly increased, both said and sung, and I even found myself at a ridgy-dij Tridentine Mass which I found more disconcerting than I ever believed possible.

On the other hand, it has been really nice to be able to fast forward until the Mass procession begins, and to exit if the sound/picture quality is poor, or if the recessional hymn is being massacred. Likewise, if the Eucharistic prayer is going too fast, to be able to use the pause button has been helpful, or if an interruption happens, or to allow time for a spiritual communion prayer if the online Mass doesn’t put it on screen or pray it out loud. We will miss the easy access to so many wonderful homilists.

But for all that life has been in a state of limbo. An image, not mine, has seemed pertinent, that of a hen sitting on eggs to hatch, but in order for that to happen, the eggs keep getting turned, so that the warmth is evenly distributed; ie progress is happening despite feeling in a state of suspended animation, disconcertion and continual flux. It has been a battle to get through the must-do’s of each day, very rarely has anything more than the must-do’s been achieved. Without the routine, it has been much easier to fall into late nights and associated insomnia.

For creative types, writers, artists, illustrators, playwrights etc, it has been even worse. They have been in creative limbo. Part of this is the absence of all the usual things that would normally spark creative ideas; chatting with peers, visiting art galleries, libraries and other places of cultural interest, coffee shops, travel etc. Part of it is the body playing catch-up, since for most creatives it is either boom or bust, ie working round the clock for impossible deadlines, or having no paid projects at all. However the hope is that this time of fallowness will yield abundant creativity in the new normal – when it arrives. 

One of the most distressing things of this lockdown period was how long it took for official parish communications to begin. For us it was something like 3-4 weeks of silence, not even weekly parish bulletins were being put online. We had no idea who was sick, who had died. We had no information about how to deposit moneys into parish bank accounts. Diocesan levels of communication weren’t much better, with only a few very short videoclips released via social media. At least we had internet for online Masses, but many parishioners don’t, and some of them don’t even have televisions to catch the weekly televised Mass For You At Home on Sunday mornings at 6am.

I am still trying to process the anger levels that the non-communication produced, and irritation that we were in this position while many other nearby parishes were in a much better position because they already had email lists, Facebook pages, and well-known bank deposit instructions. If I felt this, how many others did?

As with many others, this lockdown time has increased appreciation for the littler things; for listening to the birds, haircuts, getting out of the house to do shopping and banking, communication from family and friends. It has been a wake-up call to see just how many social interactions, community and cultural activities we have taken for granted.

Every so often an article in the news or via social media has indicated that there has been enough boredom for people to be able to break away from addictions and strong attachments in their lives. I’ve seen diehard football supporters so disgusted by the vehement push to restart sporting competition that they are no longer interested. I am guessing that coffee shops might be a bit nonplussed by those who no longer need a daily fix of cappuccino. Others are now over binge-watching on streaming services. Who knows what other good things might have been happening for those overly reliant on gambling and alcohol?

Pope Francis’ leadership in prayer has been inspiring. Firstly his vigil of prayer seeking an end to the pandemic. (I’ve recently seen a graph showing how the Italian daily death toll began reducing after this prayer vigil). Secondly his daily rosary, to which he has invited everyone to join in. Then there was a global day of prayer and self denial for people with any faith in a deity. Now he is inviting everyone to share in a rosary on Saturday 30th May as part of a renewed entrustment of our world to the intercession of the mother of Jesus. What a beautiful thing, to be united in prayer all over the world with the Pope and with Mary, on the day before Pentecost, reminiscent of that first Pentecost visitation of the Holy Spirit.

As the pandemic has worn on, and death tolls in various countries have been incomprehensible, there has been a wave of bishop’s conferences in various countries either consecrating their nations to the heart of Mary for the first time, or renewing those consecrations and entrustments to the mother of Jesus. The USA and Canada did it on the same day, May 1st. Australia did it on May 25th.

One thing that has been a surprise is the very slow weakening of the lockdown restrictions. Why I had the notion in my head that there would be an explosively fast return to normality I don’t know, but it was there. It seems such a shame that by the time things go from 10 people, to 20 people, to 50 people, and eventually to normal Mass sized congregations that we will have lost the sense of celebration that it should command.

So we find ourselves waiting for whatever the new is, and hoping that there actually is a new at the end of this weird season of lockdown.

The most difficult thing at the moment is our suspicion that our parish administration may have not learned anything valuable from this time, and that we will be hitting our heads against the same ‘brick walls’ as before. Most of us laity have been sampling the best of what is on offer online, but I doubt that our clergy have been watching each other’s Masses except for the brief time they were on the lookout for ideas to set up their own online Masses.

Yet one purpose of the lockdown seems to be to get us to slow down enough, to accumulate enough inner peace and inner silence for God to be able to get His messages through to us. All of us know that even between friends, conditions have to be near perfect for one friends to be able to disclose the deepest secrets of the heart to the other friend – in particular the recipient has to be waiting, open, truly present and unpreoccupied.

How amazing is God to permit this long process, which currently seems far from over, and not yet finished, so that He could speak more directly to our hearts! Until that deep and detailed revelation from Him comes, none of us can move forward with confidence. So we continue to wait, and learn deeper levels of trust.
​
Our Lady, Help of Christians, pray for us.

The sky is not falling…

It is Holy Saturday for real today, even though we have been living in Holy Saturday mode for over 3 weeks. The proclamation of the Resurrection is about to begin, so today is the day to record the positives from this time.

The origin of this extremely contagious and debilitating virus doesn’t matter, but the grace of the pause, of the taste of divine rest, of a time of fallowness does.

Sadly a lot of people aren’t getting the message to slow down, as evidenced by the erratic driving of some people seen when we have ventured out for groceries. What on earth could they possibly be in a hurry to get to?

In reality we are only catching up on all the Sunday-Sabbath rests we have ignored for countless years, and by God’s grace are beginning to get a taste for again. The Christmas Day quiet of suburban streets is lovely to experience.

Nature seems to be getting a bit of a rest too, with smog and pollution levels decreasing.

While it may seem quiet on the surface, there is a lot going on behind closed doors and in the depths of hearts.

The great majority of our usual distractions, football codes, theatre, restaurants, sport, libraries, local pubs, gyms, and even our church activities have closed down. People are having a chance to distance themselves from things that they were previously addicted to. Additionally they are finding that some of those things, like trips to the ice cream parlour or binge watching TV series, just aren’t satisfying them anymore.

In this time of pause, away from the normal bustle and busyness of life, there is evidence that people are reconsidering the whole God question. Those church communities that had existing online outreach, or quickly got their acts together, are reporting massive increases in viewer numbers for online church services. Granted some of these viewer numbers are not from the local area, and some are there because their own congregations don’t have anything online to offer, but many are seekers.

Reports are beginning to come in from those whose lives have been touched through these online ministries, and they include atheists and those with faiths other than Christian.

There is also evidence that the quality of family life is improving. This includes spouses reconnecting with each other. It includes the hearts of parents reconnecting with their children, and vice versa. Around the dinner table at meal times conversation is increasing. People are trying out new recipes, getting the jigsaw puzzles and board games out, and getting small to medium do-it-yourself home improvements done.

Many people have been on steep technology learning curves in order to stay in touch with each other and to be able to work from home. Rethinking is going on about how to run businesses better and clever people have begun re-purposing businesses to include home delivery, online ordering and adjusting product lines. For others rethinking their working lives is a necessity because the jobs they had before are unlikely to return.

The way we learn is changing too. With the aid of materials prepared by teachers and others, lots of parents have been thrown in the deep end of home schooling. The early responses were of gratitude to teachers, ‘I’ll never complain about you again’. But the longer this pause goes on, the more those responses are going to change. Parents will know exactly where their children are struggling and will be asking more perceptive questions of teachers. There will be parents who discover that their children are learning better and faster at home than they did at school. There will be children who discover that learning at their own pace, without the competitive peer pressure, suits them.

We won’t be going back to the normal we knew.

What might the new normal look like?

I think we are going to see a lot of No’s. Of people standing up and saying No, I am not going back to that, and having far less patience for the mediocre they used to put up with.

All of us have sampled online Masses and other church services from places other than our home parish. We’ve heard much better preaching than we have in years, and better choirs and liturgical observance. Far more of us are no longer going to be backward in coming forward and saying, ‘Father, you just have to do better. We need better preaching than this!’

There is likely to be anger, too. Anger at the non-communication from parishes that stopped printing parish bulletins, stopped putting parish bulletins online, and didn’t have existing email and Facebook networks. Our older members, who don’t have technology, will be feeling the most abandoned.

There will be others, I daresay mostly women, who will say ‘No, family really is my priority, I don’t want to go back to a toxic working environment’ and who will pioneer ways to set up cottage industries from home.

There will be families who will say, ‘No, I’m not sending my children back to school, this home-schooling thing is really working for us’. Definitely families will re-evaluate just how many extra-curricular after school activities their children will be involved in, and choose less of them.

There will be people in high pressure jobs who will say, ‘No, I can’t live like that anymore, it is detrimental to both me and my family’.

Hopefully communities, regions and states will take a good long look at where they found themselves to not be self-sufficient, and to take steps to rectify that, especially in manufacturing and production of medical supplies.

Are we ready for the new normal?

Do you remember that interesting prophecy about the three waves?
https://www.openheaven.com/2018/07/10/three-waves-of-a-coming-baby-boom-and-strategies-for-preparation-by-christy-johnston/
Firstly of prodigals, then of babies, and then of more babies.

When the social distancing restrictions are lifted, our churches will be overflowing, due to the number of returning prodigals and seekers. Are we ready to welcome them? Do we have resources in place now to assist an extra 200 to 2000 people who seek baptism and discipleship?

Do it now.

Remember the parable of the 10 bridesmaids, the ones who came with extra oil went with the bridegroom, the rest missed out.

With the lack of other things to do, and more time to improve and restore relationships, you can bet that we will see a physical baby boom from December 2020 onwards. Order your baptismal registers and certificates, baptismal candles etc now. Leave it till Oct/Nov and you won’t be able to get any. Train up extra baptismal preparation teams now, via Skype or other online interfaces if necessary.

Order extra marriage registers and certificates and paperwork too. Cohabiting couples will decide to marry. Marriages made outside the church will seek convalidation.

There will be more couples seeking to straighten out their tangled lives with God, so increase your orders of annulment paperwork too.

Then as the reconciliations with God take place, and healings begin, watch for that second baby boom of miracle babies to previously infertile couples to happen. Yes, you really do need to start ordering baptism related supplies now, and double what you first thought of.

This is the divine reset, back to God’s plan for Himself first, and family second.

The sky isn’t falling, it is about to turn the right way up for the first time in a very long while.
​
Rejoice.  

Vale Sr Margaret Wall rsj
29 Apr 1923 – 9 Dec 2019

The time has finally come to do a fuller obituary for her than was possible last December on Instagram. In the interim a good friend acquired a copy of her funeral book for me, and a copy of her official Josephite obituary, because so many locals were unable to attend her Hunters Hill funeral.

The aim is to put them all together into some kind of coherent whole, and to repare for the many times in her life when her presence went unrecorded.
​
This amazing woman was called into eternity on 9 Dec 2019 after a long life.

​She came into the world on 29 Apr 1923 in Toowoomba QLD, to English-born parents, Harry Wall and Elsie Wall nee Roberts. Her parents came to Australia as post World War I immigrants with her elder sister Dorothy. Then the rest of their children, Bill, our Margaret, Marjorie and Joan were all born in Australia. Her father was a Church of England minister, which may be why they moved from time to time. When Margaret was a teenager they moved to NSW.

Margaret’s initial training was as a nurse. As a young woman in country NSW she decided to become a Catholic at Glenn Innes. This took place in November 1948 at St Patrick’s Glen Innes.

That parish had a convent of Josephite nuns, and one of them in particular, Sr Keiran, introduced Margaret to the life of Mary McKillop, the foundress of the order. Not too long after that the call to follow Jesus as a religious came, and she said Yes, and around 3 years after becoming a Catholic entered the Sisters of St Joseph of the Sacred Heart. Her family, especially her father, found this very difficult to comprehend.

In 1955 Margaret made her final vows as a Sister of St Joseph of the Sacred Heart. It is primarily a teaching order, so after her Profession Margaret needed to retrain to become a teacher. She was assigned as a sub primary teacher, and taught Kindergarten and the lower grades of primary school at various locations, including Penrith, Leichhardt, Lakemba, Rockdale, Lavender Bay, Punchbowl, Guildford, Burwood, Camden and Lidcombe.

Margaret had a keen mind and a life-long love of learning. During 1969-1971 she completed a part-time Diploma of Theology, in 1974 attended the Tiertianship at the Aldgate convent near Adelaide in South Australia, and later did the Emmaus programme at the Baulkham Hills retreat centre and the Crossroads Course in 1990.

For some reason, maybe it was her special affinity with people doing it tough, Margaret transitioned from teaching into social work. She studied for a Diploma in Social Welfare at Milperra College of Advanced Education, and then set up the West Care Pastoral Ministry at St Marys (near Penrith). In this ministry she spent 6 busy and fruitful years, until she was sent to Woy Woy.

Her first visit to Woy Woy parish was a brief one in the 1960s as a teacher in the parish primary school. She returned in 1991 for a much longer stint as a parish associate.

She had her fingers in many pies around the place. She was one of the driving forces behind the establishment of Mary Mac's Place, a ministry to the homeless and disadvantaged through meals and support. She founded the local branch of the Josephite Associates, set up to help non-consecrated-religious share in the charism of St Mary McKillop.

Margaret took part in local University of the Third Age (U3A) activities with gusto.

With her cheery demeanour and her ability to connect with anyone, she accomplished an enormous amount of good, be they homeless, addicted, in pain or of significant influence. Frequently she was called upon to be the way forward when dispute resolution had reached an impasse.

In our two local hospitals she was a familiar sight, taking Holy Communion and her special brand of sunshine to the sick.

Photographs do not do her justice, because they cannot show how she seemed to float or half-waltz her way through life, nor the good humour behind her perennial smiles, and the love which lit up her whole face.
​
She was the last of the Josephite nuns in our parish, moving out of the convent into a villa near the private hospital, enabling the convent to become the parish office until the whole parish site was rebuilt.

When declining health took hold around 2005 she reluctantly left the parish and went into aged care at Hunters Hill, firstly hostel accommodation and later nursing home, yet keeping up relationships with her Josephite Associates and other parishioners as long as her mental abilities enabled her. This capacity to make and keep loyal friendships was a hallmark of her life, from Josephite Novitiate through all the different places, communities, ministries and parishes in which she lived.

However her time at Hunters Hill wasn’t truly retirement, but the beginning of a new ministry, joining in a local parish prayer group.

Margaret was an independent thinker, bringing the clarity of a convert to Catholicism to some matters of faith which ‘cradle Catholics’ found confusing, and she embraced the Renewal after Vatican II with joy.

She had the blessing of being able to celebrate her golden jubilee of profession in 2005 and her diamond jubilee of profession in 2015.

For her own enjoyment and reflection Margaret wrote poetry and loved the literary word. She was close to all her siblings, in-laws and relatives and held a special love for her nieces and nephews. All her life she held true to a deep faith and confidence in her loving God and in His providence.

Her funeral took place at St Joseph’s Chapel at Hunters Hill on 16 Dec 2019, and afterwards her body was laid to rest in Macquarie Park Cemetery.

May God have mercy upon her soul, and richly reward all her service to Him and His people.
​
We were so blessed to have known her and witnessed her love for God at daily Mass and everywhere else.

In many countries, including Australia, we are now in the extraordinary situation of being without sacraments for the foreseeable future, due to efforts to minimise the effect of the coronavirus.

Being without Mass, sacramental Communion, Confession and the encouragement of worshipping together as a community and catching up with each other is going to be extremely difficult for everyone.

(In some places Confession and Eucharistic Adoration may still be possible, so check with your local diocesan and parish websites.)

These things are gold, but we do have access to silver, since the Church teaches that God answers our desires for these good things. For example you may remember you were taught there were three kinds of baptism, by water, by blood (martyrdom) and by desire.

In a similar way there is sacramental communion and spiritual communion. While there are many good prayers of spiritual communion, and learning at least one of them by heart is recommended, all it really needs is expressing to Jesus that you want to receive sacramental communion, but are unable to, asking Him to come and visit you in your heart spiritually instead.

The PDF below (one A4 page) explains more about spiritual communion:

My Jesus, I believe that You are truly present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to possess You within my soul. Since I am unable now to receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as already being there, and unite myself wholly to You; never permit me to be separated from You.

It is also why we were taught that if we find ourselves in danger, a good Act of Contrition is the best thing to do. Again, the Act of Contrition is expressing to God our desire for His pardon and forgiveness, which is in essence a desire for Confession. There are many approved prayers of Acts of Contrition, find one you like best and commit it to memory.

My God, I am sorry for my sins
with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and
failing to do good, I have sinned against You
whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with Your help, to do penance,
to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads
me to sin. Our saviour Jesus Christ suffered
and died for us. In His name, my God,
have mercy. Amen.

Like the prayer of Spiritual Communion, praying an Act of Contrition daily during this extraordinary situation until the churches reopen is a good idea.

Thankfully there are options online for Mass

https://www.ewtn.com/tv/watch-live televises Mass 4 times a day (in Australia currently that means at 3am, 10am, 3pm and 11pm) although for us in Australia it will be the Mass from yesterday, and these times will change by an hour when daylight savings ends on 5 Apr 2020

https://www.youtube.com/user/ShalomWorldWide is where you can access recorded copies of Pope Francis' daily Masses. It is likely to be in Italian and without subtitles, but you should be able to pick up enough words and gestures to follow along.

In Australia on the free-to-air tv Channel 10 at 6am on Sundays there is Mass For You At Home (30 mins), which you can always record and replay at a more convenient time.

St Mary's Cathedral, Sydney, has promised to live stream their 1.10pm and 5.30pm daily Masses via both their website https://www.stmaryscathedral.org.au/ and their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/stmaryscathedralsydney/

And these are only a few of the Mass options available online.

See what your local diocesan website is recommending or offering. For example, on Instagram @frjasonsmith will be live streaming a daily Mass.

Another thing that can be done is to join with the universal Church in praying the Divine Office (morning prayer, evening prayer, night prayer, or as much of it as you can manage).

For those who do not have copies of the prayer books at home to do this, some websites and apps make this possible to do.
https://divineoffice.org/welcome/
(although you will need to send them a request)
https://mycatholic.life/catholic-prayers/liturgy/ scroll all the way down for the link, it will be according to the USA liturgical calendar.

You can order the prayer books online
(for Australia)
https://www.paulinebooks.com.au/search/search.cgi?search=divine+office

If you are new at this choose the Morning and Evening Prayer (black cover) https://www.amazon.com.au/Morning-Evening-Prayer-Not-Available/dp/0007211333
If you have money to burn, get the 3 Volume Divine Office which contains the Office of Readings
If these books look too heavy for you, go for the Shorter Morning and Evening Prayer (red cover), which covers everything but doesn't have the richness of the liturgical seasons and saints feast days that the black cover has.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Shorter-Morning-Evening-Prayer-Icel/dp/0007219873

If the Divine Office feels too complicated for you, then there is something similar at http://disabilityandjesus.org.uk/ called An Ordinary Office http://anordinaryoffice.org.uk/ specifically designed for people with disabilities who cannot access church buildings. If you have a Twitter account you can pray it via @DisabilityJ

All of these prayer options can keep us plugged into the prayer life of the universal church, and in unity.
………………………
There are lots of your friends who need this information,
so please share it around.

In all this we remind ourselves that God is in control. If He has permitted us to go through this dearth of the sacraments, then it is only so that He can bring a much greater good out of it. We can look upon this time as an opportunity to deepen our faith and to deepen our desire for Jesus. The more we do this, the shorter the time of trial will be, since we believe that Jesus longs for sacramental contact with us much, much more than we long for sacramental contact with Him. Pray for your priests, that this time is transformative for the better for them too. If nothing else, we will never take the sacraments for granted again!

Our Lady, Help of Christians, pray for us
St Joseph, terror of demons, pray for us

​Ten years ago, as part of our home schooling adventures, we used some Excellence in Writing material, and I put together this essay for practice. I came across a copy of it recently, and it seems to be as relevant as ever.
............................................................................................
Q. What role do you think the Catholic Faith should play in the academic and community life of a Catholic College?
 
A Catholic college should be Catholic all through, in all its academic and communal parts, and not Catholic in name only. In recent times we have seen far too many Catholic institutions that are Catholic in name only or ‘Catholic-lite’ and we have not had the opportunity to see the real thing.
 
Academic
A Catholic College cannot witness to Catholic truth unless each of its administrators, lecturers and tutors witness to that truth not only with their words and their works but most importantly in the conduct of their lives. Such visible leaders must be publicly committed to presenting what the Catholic Church teaches and to never present ideas contrary to the Magisterium of the Church. One cannot protect these truths without appropriate safeguards and sanctions. It should be understood that divorce, adultery, abortion, drunkenness, addictions, active homosexuality and similar actions are grounds for instant dismissal. Each lecture hall and tutorial room should have recording apparatus installed, and have lectures and tutorials taped randomly and checked for doctrinal errors. When errors are found they are to be rectified swiftly. Every effort should be expended to ensure that the witness given by word and deed is authentically Catholic.
 
A Catholic College should equip its students not only with secular learning of the highest quality but also with sound doctrinal teaching. Students need to know how well founded the truths that the Catholic Church teaches are (Luke 1: 4), and how to defend them. Each year a subject in apologetics and in theology needs to be mandatory for every student, staffed by the most interesting, zealous and knowledgeable people possible.

To be an effective Catholic witness in today’s world one’s knowledge of Catholic truth cannot remain at primary school or high school level, it needs to be at university level. Students need to experience that the pursuit of Catholic truth is as essential as the pursuit of knowledge in the arenas of law, medicine, education, engineering, science and anthropology.  
 
Within the secular subjects provided by the College, a sense of wonder and awe at the work of the Creator and respect for God’s laws, natural and revealed, must be inculcated. Each subject’s content must exhibit fidelity to the teaching of the Magisterium of the Church, and lead naturally to greater knowledge, love and respect for God. The work of a Catholic college should pulse with the plea ‘Show us Your ways, help us to understand Your truths, reveal more of Your wisdom, plan and knowledge to us’. In all there should be recognition that it is because God works in beauty and order that we can study His works in the various secular and religious subjects and thus come to greater knowledge and love of Him.
 
Community Life
A Catholic College should provide the environment for students to learn about living a thoroughly Catholic lifestyle. An array of options for growth in spiritual life and in social life should be offered.
 
For the development of spiritual life the provision of several daily Mass times is necessary, as well as the provision of several daily times for the reception of the Sacrament of Penance. There should be two chapels open 24 hours a day, one for women and one for men. At each chapel two religious staff would be at hand at all times for counselling, one to listen and one as a witness to prevent scandal. The Liturgy of the Hours should be prayed in common in as many locations as possible, and every kind of prayer group, Marian, Divine Mercy, Charismatic, Bible Study etc encouraged.
 
At the heart of community life there should be the witness and continuity provided by religious orders. The members of these orders, one for men, one for women, would provide the counsellors in the chapels, and as many administrators, lecturers, tutors and dormitory supervisors as possible. The witness and fidelity of those who have chosen a lifelong commitment to God is essential for providing a stable Catholic environment and culture upon which the ever changing cohorts of students can find nourishment and challenge.

Life is not all study and prayer, recreation and fun are important. Catholic Colleges need to provide safe and fun options for social interactions. Sport, drama clubs, Christian music concerts, Christian art exhibitions, talks from prominent Catholic lay visitors are all needed. Quality outreach options for those called to evangelism and those called to works of mercy (soup kitchens, hospital and prison visitation etc) should be available. Weekly sharing groups to assist students connect with each other, and look out for each others needs are essential, as it is so easy to feel lost and isolated in a large institution. The lessons learned in social interaction are just as formative as those learned in class time and study time.
 
A Catholic College to be worthy of the name has to be Catholic in its leaders, in its prayer life, in its social life and in its pursuit of truth. To obtain such a College requires great commitment and continual vigilance.
​
It is possible to attain the real thing, the Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio, USA has done it, and has done it so well that it has a glowing international reputation. A Catholic College should never settle for being anything less than the real thing.  

​A few days after the last blog post I was driving home from something and as I reached the garage a stray thought appeared, 'You know those monthly small steps, it would be a whole lot easier to do them as a group, and a whole lot likelier that they would happen'.

My guess is that Saturdays between Morning Mass and Vigil Mass is a good time because it would suit those who work Mon-Fri, it would suit retirees who no longer like going out at night, and theoretically would be easier for parents with children to take turns at attending.

Your circumstances will be different, so adjust accordingly.
We have a 9am Saturday morning Mass, and a 5pm Vigil Mass.
The 9am Saturday morning Mass is preceded by the Morning Prayer of the Church and followed by a short time of Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament that culminated in Benediction around 10am. During Exposition, the Confessional is open for business.
After Benediction the Rosary is prayed.
We also have a large meeting room equipped with Audio Visual stuff, in the same building as the Church.

For our circumstances, that means morning tea starting around 10.25am in time for the Monthly Plenary Council Steps to begin at 10.45am should work. Start with a prayer calling upon the Holy Spirit and a prayer invoking the aid of Mary, Help of Christians.

Part 1: Missionary and Evangelising (30mins)
Either get a past graduate of an RCIA program in the parish to come and tell his/her conversion story in 15-20 mins with the remainder of the 30 minutes filled with question time or general discussion time. However it is going to more likely be question time, since apart from the conversion story itself, you will want to ask questions about what helped or hindered that 'journey home' and what were the catalysts that started opening up his/her heart and mind, and what they think would have been helpful to them as a newbie at Mass.

Alternately find one of the first Monday Journey Home programs from the Coming Home Network. They have the first half hour as testimony and the last half hour for question time. Find one of them and together watch the first half.

Part 2: Inclusive, Participatory and Synodal (30 mins)
In every parish there are people with hearing aids, low vision, walking sticks, wheelchairs, others recovering from surgery, or who have special needs children, or who are battling depression and treatment for cancer. Ask one of them, or two of them with the same set of difficulties to come, and to talk about their regular routine in getting to and from Mass, any struggles they have during Mass, anything they think would make access and participation easier for them. Use any remaining time of the 30 minutes as question time or discussion time.

Over time this should lead us to a greater awareness of the needs of others, a deeper compassion for each other, and maybe some simple practical improvements.

Part 3: Prayerful, Sacramental and Eucharistic (10 mins)
Send everyone off into the parish church for 10 minutes of personal prayer.
(Since not everyone is going to make it to the time of Exposition before Benediction)

Lunch Time (30 mins)

Part 4: Humble, Healing and Merciful (30 mins)
This is alone time with God and the aid of a notebook and pen.
Think about the people in your life with whom you are not at peace, write down their names, and ask for God's help to forgive them, and then seek forgiveness from God for holding onto resentments. Then pray a prayer for each person on that list, asking God to bless them and bring them closer to Himself. If there is anything practical that God prompts you to do for one or more of them, write it down, and make it a priority to do it.

If any time remains, make a list of everyone you know who is sick, seriously ill or suffering, and then pray for each one of them individually.

Part 5: A Joy-filled, Hopeful and Servant Community (30 mins)
With the same notebook and pen write down three blessings of the past week or month that you want to give God thanks for, and then write a paragraph about a time in the past month where you knew God was active in your life (eg saved from an accident, a chance meeting with someone who had the exact answer you had been looking for, an unexpected supernatural peace after hearing disturbing news). That should take no more than 10-15 mins, then share it with 2 or 3 others in the group, and listen in turn to their blessings and stories.

It is only when we stop and look back that we can more clearly see where God has been active in our lives. Gratitude leads us to joy, and sharing our reasons for gratitude increases our trust in God – which leads to hope.

Afternoon tea break (20 mins)

Theme 6: Open to Conversion, Renewal and Reform (1 hour)
From the Gospel passages for the next 4 Sundays, select a single chapter, and have copies of that Gospel chapter printed out. Give everyone a copy, and then direct each one to find a place to be alone with God, to slowly read through that Gospel chapter and then ask God what dreams He has for you, what things He would like to see happen in your family life, work life, ministry life, community life, and write down any ideas and out-of-the-blue thoughts that come, and write them down in your notebook. You may need to start by writing down your own dreams, and then ask God if they align with His dreams, or if they are big enough to match the dreams He has for you. Towards the end, place all the dreams in His hands and ask Him to confirm for you which ones come from Him and which you should work on, and which ones are not from Him and which you should gently let go of.

Conclusion: Come back together and pray a simple prayer, (eg Our Father) as a conclusion, and then invite anyone who would like to take the option to stay and talk, or who would like someone to pray for them to remain.

In more condensed form that looks like:
Morning Tea 10.25am
Conversion Story + Q&A 10.45am
Disability & Inclusion Story + Q&A  11.15am
Personal Prayer 11.45am
Lunch 11.55am
Praying for Relationships in tension 12.25pm
Sharing our Blessings 12.55pm
Afternoon Tea 1.25pm
Dreaming with God 1.45pm
Conclusion 2.45pm (prayer requests and having a chat might take that to 3.30pm)

A monthly period of recollection is something the Church encourages with a partial indulgence, and a monthly day like this would qualify.

Of all these things, if you could only do a few of them, make Dreaming with God and Praying for Relationships in tension the priorities.

If you wanted something like this to form the backbone of your parish response to the Plenary Council, go for it. You wouldn't even need to wait for the first session of the Plenary Council to begin. It is something that could start quickly and with not much to do for set up (pray, find speakers, set up meeting room, arrange tea & coffee, provide pens & paper, print off Gospel chapter, work out whether BYO lunch or a tray of pre-prepared sandwiches would suffice)and not much by way of cost.
​
Small do-able steps inspired by the 6 Themes, like the ones above, can have a very big long term impact.

​The discernment part of the Plenary Council is supposedly in full swing, although it seems only group submissions are being accepted. Since I don't have a group, and it would be a dishonesty to submit something from a group of one, I will blog it instead.

My catalyst for writing is reading through some 20 pages of a group submission a relative of mine has been involved in. Those some 20 pages cover the 6 themes, with a reasonable amount of overlap between the themes. Having actually read other submissions from the consultation stage, online and offline, it is substantially representative of what the discernment groups have been receiving.

The other catalysts are the recent message from Queen Elisabeth II that repeatedly mentioned small steps as necessary on the way to greater good, and some videos from Dr Henry Cloud on YouTube about leadership: in particular the notion about focussing on what we can actually control, and giving people permission to work on those things they can actually control even if it is as seemingly small as smiling at your customers.

As I see it, there's a problem with all the 'we should do this', 'we should have that', and 'we need/must do this's that form the backbone of most submissions -
a) it all sounds like it is going to be done by an eager group of nameless people with infinite resources, time and talents
b) it doesn't take account of the already depleted/overextended people currently trying to hold together all that the parishes are already doing
c) by and large it lets 'me' off the hook.

So I am going to do something novel and look at the 6 themes from the angle of what small step or steps could someone in the pew actually do towards making the vision of those 6 themes a reality. Lots of people doing one small step, and encouraging each other to do that one small step, could make much more of a difference than we ever would have thought possible.

All of them need to be, 'Hey, yes, I could do that!'

Just choosing one step from each theme would be a very good start.

Theme 1: Missionary and Evangelising
•Take the time to think about and write about a time where God was very active in your life; what was the situation, what did God do? how did you know it was Him? what changed in your life because of this. 1 Pet 3:15
•Pray a short prayer every day for a friend or relative to be given a life changing encounter with Jesus
•Simplify your life so that there is room in it to take up a hobby that brings you in to interaction with people outside your parish community
•Once a month sit down and watch an episode from The Journey Home programme produced by the Coming Home Network https://chnetwork.org/about how God brought someone home to the Catholic church. Doing that will teach you that God is active in everyone's lives, and give you some simple ways to explain why Catholics do what they do if someone asks you.

Theme 2: Inclusive, Participatory and Synodal
•Be connected to what is going on at diocesan, national and global level by adding feeds from your diocese, Australian Catholic Bishop's Conference and Pope Francis to your favourite social media platform.
•Do something intentional once a month to learn about the actual experiences of people with disabilities. That could be online learning: http://disabilityandjesus.org.uk/ is a good place to start, as is the #actuallyautistic hashtag. Or it could be offline learning: having a chat to someone is the parish with low vision; or who wears hearing aids; or who comes to Mass with a walking stick; or visiting (with permission) a family of a special needs child.
•Once a month get to know someone's full name at church, and something about them, because to a certain extent most of us don't feel like we belong unless someone notices those times when we are missing.
•Understanding increases participation. Once a week read a page from the Catechism of the Catholic Church from the section on the Sacraments https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM, or a page from the documents of Vatican II or a page from a papal encyclical.
•If you are not already contributing to the parish community in some way (eg. choir, church cleaning, St Vincent de Paul society, counting team, taking Holy Communion to the sick, welcomer etc) seek God seriously about what how He would like you to contribute your gifts and talents, and then act on it.
•Smile at everyone whom you come across at church, particularly anyone who seems to be struggling or who seems uncertain about the responses and when to stand, sit and kneel, or at anyone who has made the extra effort to bring their children to church.

Theme 3: Prayerful, Sacramental and Eucharistic
•If you do not already have a regular daily prayer time, commit yourself to 10 minutes of prayer a day.
•If you do already have a regular daily prayer time, increase it by 5 minutes.
•Find 5 minutes to spend quietly with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament every week. That could be before Mass, after Mass, or a special visit during the week to an open church or Blessed Sacrament chapel.
•Find a prayer of Spiritual Communion that you like, and pray it once a week, or more frequently if you wish.
https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/devotions/act-of-spiritual-communion-339
https://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/spiritual-communion.html
•Do you have a holy water stoup at home? Keep it filled with holy water, and bless yourself with it every time you leave home. If you haven't got one, get one, and use it.

Theme 4: Humble, Healing and Merciful
•Make a commitment to listen whole heartedly to anyone who wishes to share their burdens with you, and to only offer advice if they ask for it.
•Start a regular practice of contributing to the lives of those less fortunate than yourself. It might look like putting some money in to the St Vincent de Paul poor box each Sunday, or finding a worthy charity and setting up a monthly direct debit donation, or volunteering to regularly do grocery shopping for an elderly neighbour.
•Once a month to take a few minutes to think about the people in your life with whom you are not at peace, and to ask for God's help to forgive them, and to seek forgiveness from God for holding onto resentments.
•Choose a short prayer you like that you could pray every day for all those you know, or have been told, who are sick or seriously ill or suffering from mental illness – and pray it daily.

Theme 5: A Joyful, Hope-filled and Servant Community
•Make a list every day of at least 3 things you are grateful to God for eg. quality time spent with a friend, being able to hear the birds sing, an answer to prayer.
•Go looking for a story every week about how God has been active in someone else's life. You might find that testimony on a video or blog, in an autobiography or over a coffee with a friend; and let that story nourish the hope within you that God is just as active in your life.
•If you are in leadership, start regularly asking your team members the question, 'What can I do to help you reach your ministry goals?' It might mean getting a light bulb replaced, or recruiting a helper, or diffusing an issue of conflict, or similar. And do it to the best of your ability.
•If you don't already know them, find out the dates of your baptism, confirmation, first Holy Communion and do something intentional to celebrate them every year; and make special effort to celebrate and acknowledge the wedding anniversaries, ordination anniversaries and religious commitment anniversaries of those God has placed in your life.
​
Theme 6: Open to Conversion, Renewal and Reform
•Read a passage of the Word of God every day, or two chapters from the Bible every week. Soaking our minds in God's truth will gradually show us where we are out of alignment with His ways and strengthen our wills to get our lives into alignment.
•Make a commitment to going to confession (Sacrament of Penance) monthly.
•Find a prayer to the Holy Spirit that you like, and make it part of your daily prayer time.
•Make a commitment to setting aside an hour every month to ask God what dreams He has for you, what things He would like to see happen in your family life, work life, ministry life, community life, and write down any ideas and out-of-the-blue thoughts that come, and share them with someone you trust who can help you sort out which ones have God's touch on them.

Today I found myself as a lone wolf among a vocal Twitter mob talking about the fees that most Western civilization parishes charge to conduct a Catholic wedding.

It was truly disturbing to see so much ignorance about what goes on behind the scenes in preparation for a wedding, to see how sunk we are in consumer mentality rather than collaborative mission, and to see how little the time and service of the priesthood was valued. Even those in clerical office whom I expected to know better weighed in on the wrong side, which means that their parish/episcopal staff have been shielding them effectively from the nitty gritty of wedding preparation, especially the financial bits.

Here is a brilliant article which I had high hopes of exonerating me from writing about this topic: https://canonlawmadeeasy.com/2013/11/07/stipends-and-sacraments/
It includes all the canon law references that pertain to stipends for Mass offerings and sacramental celebrations. Please read it.

Let's go back to the plan of God in the scriptures.

We see Melchizedek provide Abraham spiritual services of a ritual nature, and Abraham in thanksgiving to God for the battle victory and for all else God had done for him including the post battle blessing, gave to God through Melchizedek a tenth (tithe) of everything.

We see in the offerings and sacrifices made according to the law of Moses, that specific portions of it were to be set aside for either the consecrated priesthood, or for them and their families. It was the way God designed for the priests and their families to be able to give themselves fully to the requirements of the ritual worship of Israel.

If you want to delve deeper into the meanings of Temple worship, this article by a Presbyterian scholar is helpful. https://www.fpcjackson.org/resource-library/sermons/priestly-pay-the-priest-s-portion-of-the-grain-offering

And this article on the tithes of the Old Testament is useful also, https://www.ministrymagazine.org/archive/1958/09/the-three-tithes-of-the-old-testament

Now I need you to comprehend how this tithe and offering process and the spiritual impetus behind it is very different to the crime of simony we see in Acts 8, where Simon the magician notes that people that Peter and John impose hands upon receive the charisms of the Holy Spirit. He wants to be able to do what Peter and John do, and offers them money. Simon would be set for life being able to charge for passing on these valuable charisms to others. Peter gives him a vehement rebuke.

The Church still takes this seriously, eg if an object has been blessed it can no longer be sold.

The closest thing I see to simony today is people doing 'prophetic activations' online, and charging money to be part of them. The promise is that your capacity to receive prophecy, dreams and visions etc will be unlocked through prayer. That is very different to attending a paid conference or seminar that has times of prayer ministry where such things might happen but are never guaranteed to happen, and would only happen if it was God initiated.

'What you have received without charge, give without charge' has to be balanced with 'the labourer is worthy of his hire'.

The tithes and offerings are made first and foremost to God, and then generally the tithes keep the families of priests and the temple and its furnishings and other requirements for worship (vestments, musical instruments, offering vessels) in good repair, and part of the offerings goes directly to the priests.

From this thinking comes our first collection for the upkeep of the priests and our second collection for the upkeep of the parish, and by extension the diocesan services. It isn't paying for sacraments as much as keeping the mechanisms going that make receiving the sacraments possible.

I really hope you get that distinction, because that is what underpins the thinking on marriage fees.

In a perfect world couples getting married would naturally express their thanksgiving to God for such a priceless gift. That expression could be through money, or in offerings in kind (cattle, produce), manual labour as often happens in rural impoverished areas, and given to God through both parish and priest, and also to the poor and needy. But it falls under the keeping the mechanisms that make receiving the sacraments possible thinking, not under the payment for sacraments thinking (which would be simony).

So let's look now at what goes on behind the scenes in a parish to make a wedding possible:

There is paperwork to be done to apply for the marriage certificate for the civil side of the marriage dealing with government laws and regulations. Then there is the paperwork to determine whether the bride and groom are sacramentally capable of contracting a Catholic marriage. That's why you need baptism certificates, confirmation certificates. They usually have to be verified by the parishes in which those sacraments were received. Rarely is this simple, usually it entails significant time for parish secretaries to complete. If there have been prior marriages it is even more complicated. If the paperwork cannot be verified, then the spouse to be without the verification is invited to have a conditional baptism and chrismation (Dear God we don’t know whether this person was validly baptised or not, but You do, if they weren't baptised back then open up the gift of Holy Baptism for them now, and if they were validly baptised back then, please bless them for recommitting themselves to You).

The priest is obliged to do all he can to ascertain whether both bride and groom are both able and capable of giving full consent to the marriage. Often this is done through a series of marriage preparation meetings and talks, and depending on diocesan policy attending some kind of marriage preparation course eg Engaged Encounter. Frequently this process time with the priest is the only time a couple gets to focus on preparing for the marriage, and not just the wedding, and the insights and advice are useful for a lifetime. Everything else (invitations, wedding cake, formal gear, photographer etc) is focussed on the wedding day, only this is attempting to set you up to succeed in married life.

Then there is the work to be done selecting scripture readings and hymns and which of the various options for prayers during the Mass or Liturgy of the Word are preferred.

The priest has to prepare a homily. Ditto if a deacon is presiding over the ceremony. Preparing homilies takes time and effort.
Then there is the time the priest gives to the wedding ceremony itself, getting there early, often doing part of the set-up.

These are not inconsequential commitments of time by both priest/deacon and parish staff, and it doesn't stop there.

Those doing the music have to be contacted and scheduled, they have to practice the music. They also have to submit the copyright permissions for the music chosen, and there are fees to use music depending on what kind of copyright payment mechanisms the parish already has. Popular hymns would already be paid for under parish licence, less common hymns may attract additional charges. If the musicians don’t already have the music desired, they have to pay for the sheet music. Copyright is charged whether the music if live or pre-recorded, because no matter the delivery method it is still being utilised in a public setting.

In high summer or deep winter the bills for lighting and air-conditioning will be higher, but even outside of those intense climate times there will still be light and power usage.

Altar servers may be required, and they give of their time too.

If there is a wedding practice beforehand, then that is additional time given by priest, musicians and others.

The parish also has to cover itself in case things go wrong, and that happens more frequently than you imagine. Normal things like a child spilling a drink, or throwing up, or lots of grassy detritus leftover from weddings of people from Pacific Island heritage. Someone has to clean them up, and sometimes the damage is costly to repair.

Then the other things that can go wrong include a wedding guest having a fall, breaking a bone or two, or similar calamity, and then suing the parish. Public liability insurance is no longer cheap, and the more times unfortunate things happen the dearer it gets.

For particularly eye catching chapels and churches the waiting lists tend to be longer, and in the meantime the couple can split up (and not tell the parish, it happens more than you think) or find another venue they want more (and not tell the parish, it happens more than you think), so these were the first places to ask for some kind of deposit to reserve a place on the parish's marriage calendar. If you have paid for something, you are more likely to show up, and more likely to contact a place to get your money back.

For cathedrals there might be extra costs due to forgone revenue from tourist donations when the wedding is taking place and non-guests are dissuaded from entering.

Those eye-catching chapels and churches usually have a high annual maintenance bill, and some of the 'fee for use' will go towards that bill.

Often parishes help with putting together a wedding booklet, and that alone is a time consuming task taking many hours even if working from a basic template, and even if there are no alterations and changes of mind about readings and hymns etc along the way. Add printing costs to that.

It definitely isn't free for a parish to provide the wherewithal for a marriage to take place. Expecting all of those services to be provided gratis even for a super active member of the parish is unreasonable.

Generally there is a flat fee that encompasses all these things, and in reality it is a token only and not the full cost at all. The suggested voluntary and yet expected stipend for the priest technically should be separate, but parish secretaries are pragmatic and they know that bundling things into a single fee reduces the amount of time they have to spend explaining why a fee is necessary in the first place. Explaining one is hard enough, explaining two, forget it! Let alone all of the histrionics and other verbal abuse that exudes from people stressed out over wedding preparations that such fees illicit and the parish secretaries cop.

With weddings of two practicing Catholics running at around 1 in 10, or less, you have to factor additional time educating brides and grooms with minimum understanding of Catholic ritual.

Because the knowledge of how things are done has rapidly decreased with each virtually unchurched generation, parishes were finding that the priest's stipends were not even on the radar. Even the best of us gets upset after receiving no tangible appreciation for time and effort five or more weddings in a row. In former days (many decades past) providing a stipend was just general knowledge and expected behaviour. People back then knew what amount was a reasonable offering, they don’t now. And it is not just weddings. Parishes have had to introduce the fee structure for funerals as well to ensure that the priest gets a minimum token of appreciation/stipend.

Cases of genuine hardship will always be accommodated somehow, if requested respectfully.

So what is reasonable fee wise? A lot of people are going to be putting in a lot of hours from the parish making your wedding day possible. May I suggest that you take the average hourly wage/salary of bride and groom and multiply it by 10. Even though 10 hours is an extremely conservative estimate, the vast majority of fees will be under that. Be grateful, and cheerfully give. If over, then the parish you are dealing with has high maintenance and security costs and/or a recent spate of very expensive bad experiences.

Some people have suggested taking up a once a year collection to subsidise the fees for weddings and baptisms. I suspect you will find that the user pays principle has been so embedded in Western civilisation that the average parishioner will be outraged, because the people most likely to be subsidised are obviously absent from weekly Sunday worship. It would also take away that biblical notion of expressing personal gratitude to God.
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If you still think that fees for church weddings are utterly wrong, then go and consult an expert. Contact a parish secretary, bring her (or him) a cup of coffee, ask them about why that parish has wedding fees and be prepared to listen and listen and listen as they tell you the stories behind each and everyone one of the fee decisions the parish has reluctantly had to make.

This wasn't even on my radar until this morning.

That is, until a mid-20s, confident, athletic, law degree-d youth leader happened to visit the Blessed Sacrament chapel while my son and I were still doing our weekly holy hour. Said son is non-athletic like his parents (bless him!), and has much less confidence. Said youth leader did the 'fish in the barrel' thing that greatly upsets me, ergo, 'I need another bloke to make the fraternity part of Exodus 90 work, here's a bloke, he's here, maybe it is meant to be, let's go ask him' without taking into account any discernment of whether Exodus 90 was a good fit for my son's needs and personality and his current place on the spiritual journey of life.

Life is not at all easy for young men who go to church and who aren't athletic and don't ooze with confidence.

Case 1: Every visiting priest does the 'fish in the barrel' vocation chat. Listen, please, you only have the right to do that chat if you have taken the time to get to know the young man in question, and have attained a good grasp of his strengths and talents, and can say with truth 'I think you have what it takes to be a good (insert vocation here) because (insert observed behaviour A), (insert observed talent B), (insert observed charism C), would you please consider it, or at least come and have a deeper chat with me about it.'

Case 2: Then the young men who go to church and who aren't athletic and don’t ooze with confidence go to various Catholic summer school offerings that are presented by gung-ho extrovert on-fire young men that make the others feel woefully inadequate and lacking in faith and commitment.

End of mini rant.

But a brief look at the Exodus 90 program got my hackles up, and it has taken me a few hours and reading blogs on the topic to get a better handle on why.

I can understand that for a unmarried Catholic male who has walked The Camino, and who is ready for an equally satisfying challenge, that this is cat-nip.

I can understand that if your life was out of order, and you have had a massive conversion experience, then the desire to get your life into God's order, and the desire to do significant penance for past mis-deeds, would make Exodus 90 a really good fit for you.

I can understand that if you have an inkling that a vocation in one of the rigorous religious orders might be in your destiny, then doing the Exodus 90 would be a prudent step on the discernment path. But with the caveat that the temptation to do it on human power alone, with human boasting of same when completed should be enough to make a wise person run in the opposite direction.

I can understand that if you have a major prayer intention (eg return of a prodigal child, return of a separated spouse, needing clear direction on vocation, starting up a new ministry) that an Exodus 90 process would add lots of power to those prayer intentions.

I can understand that if you have a major habit or addiction that you want to break, that Exodus 90 could be very helpful with that.

But I can also see

That it is suited to unmarried men, particularly if they are living alone or in a household of like-minded individuals.

That you will have to have very strong social relationships, capable of surviving lack of maintenance for 90 days, because snacks, dessert, going to a movie, sharing a soft drink, re-posting a joke on social media,  are the ways we usually connect with our loved ones and friends for fun and conversation. The fraternity part of Exodus 90 is going to be focussed on survival, mutual support and spiritual growth, and not on those lighter moments that make life worth living.

That the Exodus 90 days of deprivation are as tough as an elite warrior boot camp, and most will not be able to complete the challenge and feel or be made to feel that they are failures and have let themselves, God and their loved ones down. That's a pretty big risk if you are already emotionally or mentally fragile.

I am concerned

That although there is a component of prayer and spiritual reading, there is no overt commitment to sacramental life.

That those whose livelihoods depend on regular blogging or posting on social media (artists, journalists, interior designers) would be greatly disadvantaged career-wise.

That the Exodus 90 lifestyle is unsustainable, you can't continue at that pace, and those who in actual life do so are specially called and gifted by God for the rigours of such a penitential lifestyle in religious orders or as hermits.

That too many will take up the challenge because a buddy invited them, and try to achieve it on human power alone, rather than as a response to a call of God, depending on Him for the grace and power to complete each day.

That going 'cold turkey' on so many ascetical practices at once is a recipe for disaster. It would be better to commit to three of them over the first 2 weeks of the challenge and then decide in the fraternity group whether to add another one in week 3 or not.

That keeping going for the Lenten distance of 40 days is hard enough, and that there's some ancient wisdom in our liturgical cycles of feasts and fasts.

That there are reports on YouTube of people having major counter-reactions to the extreme disciplines when they reach day 91 and beyond; think about the behaviour of boarding school types when they hit the undisciplined life of university because that's what the counter-reaction looks like. People who go on long fasts with liquid diets know that when the fast finishes that it is important to return to normal eating patterns at a slow and gradual pace.

That there are many housebound people who depend on social media for their connection to the outside world, and for whom the departure of swathes of good people from social media for Lent or Exodus 90 vastly impoverishes their lives. Fasts from social media don't have to be total, limiting it to only after 6pm of an evening or for an hour daily are quite effective.

The bottom line?
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I don't doubt that God can do great things in the lives of those who undertake an Exodus 90 process, as long as the goal is God and not a bucket-list item or a badge of honour or bragging rights, but a response to a personal call from God to go deeper through penance and reparation for a specific purpose.